You missed it??? I know everyone and their mom has seen the "official Kate Middleton" site, but today might be the best it's been. Check out their tumblr for their wedding liveblog! Her dress was kind of boring, but I still loved it. UPDATE: The Hairpin's liveblog is also LOL. Will I be reading wedding stories all day? PROBABLY.

Someone needs to caption (or BLINGEE) this photo STAT:

Can we talk about Princesses Beatrice & Eugenie?? WTF. I want to like Fergie, but honestly these girls must have received the publicity hound gene from their mother. How else to explain their awful hat choices?

Some wedding guests I didn't understand:

Ian Thorpe - aka Thorpedo - the Australian Olympian swimmer. Did he used to date Kate and we missed it?



Joss Stone - singer - Her presence again confirms that Will & Kate do not have good musical taste. At least she's wearing shoes.



Chelsy Davy - Harry's on-again girlfriend. Her invite makes sense, her dress on the other hand...very mother of the bride. I know you don't want to upstage the bride, and don't worry - NO CHANCE OF THAT WITH THIS DRESS.

Celebrity Wedding Bands

gif via fourfour

What would the day be without more Royal Wedding news! 1 day guys!!!! Rumor has it that Will and Kate want Beyonce and Jay-Z to sing at their reception. I think it's the "young, hip" reception and not the one that Charles and the Queen will attend. They allegedly want them to perform "Crazy in Love". What is this - 1999??? It's a good song - sometimes I don't skip it when I'm exercising, but overall this reveals how lame Will and Kate might be. They have their pick of singers and this is what they want? She's popular and brings da hitz, but what is with Beyonce getting invites to sing at every historical gathering - Obama's inaugural ball, Qaddafi's sons' birthday and now the Royal Wedding? Is everyone else blind to how robotic she is? Personal taste I guess. Who would you pick if you could hire any singer on the planet? Another thought to consider - don't you want someone that will still be relevant when you're celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary? Your grandkids are going to wonder "What's a Beyonce?". I think we can all agree that it could be worse........aka Katy Perry!

via fourfour

gif via fourfour

Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of Will & Kate on his teeth? Get the man some Crest Whitestrips stat! Also it freaks me out.

Vegan Experiment Finishes

The saying goes that if you do something for 21 straight days it becomes a habit. After 21 straight days of a vegan cleanse diet, I can say I am in the habit of hating the vegan cleanse diet.

That's not quite true. The experiment is over, and the results are dramatic.

1) I have new appreciation for water-that it's there and really cheap to drink. I spent about $30/month on alcohol, money I didn't spend during the diet. Money I normally spent on soda and juice (I'm a fiend for OJ) stayed in my pocket.

2) I learned about new tasty foods. Did you know that kale is a thing? It is! The cabbage-like plant is about the healthiest thing you can possibly eat, unless you consider Cadbury Eggs a healthy thing.

And if you're going for those filling grains, many substitutes for rice exist. Quinoa cooks fast and at least three of its letters are pronounced as they should be. You can get white or red versions. Red quinoa is red in the way hair is red, in that it is not red. Couscous cookscooks eveneven fasterfaster.

3) Do not eat an entire can of refried beans with your dinner. They taste great, but your body will not forgive you.

4) I like whole grains. I used to buy white pasta and white bread, without realizing that they bleached all the good stuff out of it. When I hear "bleach" I think "Yum!" Now I will be buying strictly whole grain bread and pasta, except those rare times when I won't.

5) I weighed 174 pounds the morning I began the diet. I weighed 163 pounds on the morning it ended. That means I lost one pound every two days, without the benefit of strenuous exercise or watching the amount of food I ate. The weight loss amazes me. I didn't do the diet to lose weight, but that's exactly what happened.

Now the challenge will be maintaining that weight. Wish me luck.

Vegan Update

Five days to go on the vegan diet. The first 9 days of the diet I felt weird, off, empty. It's hard to describe the sensation. I suspect my body was used to the way and things I eat, and needed that time to adjust. Day 10 and on I felt great, with an increased pep in my step and slimming waistline.

So far I've lost seven pounds, and without exercise. At first I didn't have the energy, and now I'm still not doing it enough but the pounds melt away anyway. Word from the wise: Exercise will not help you lose weight! (The author is not qualified to make that statement.)

As for the food, well, I'm pretty damn sick of water. I need a beer! I've already started planning my reward meal on Monday when it's all over (thinking pizza).

Going vegan

In high school I called myself a "meatatarian", before Wendy's went and made the term uncool. Slowly I transitioned to what I am, as of last week, a full-fledged, card-carrying Commi--sorry, vegan.

Exhale, it's OK. I'm engaging in a three-week experiment where I eat no meat, no dairy, no eggs--no animal products of any kind. But wait, there's more! I also cut out processed foods. No chips, no bleached flour in pancake mix, no white bread. But wait, there's more! The diet is a cleanse diet, meaning get those chemicals out of me! So no juice, no soda, no coffee, no beer.

So what can I eat? Well, aside from the delicious grass growing all over my backyard and the bark trees wear, I can eat some good stuff. Tons of veggies, tons of beans, and tons of grains.

The 21-day Vegan Kickstart, created by the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, publishes suggested meal plans for the entire day, each day, including a few snacks and desserts. Today is Day 9, and I'd say they're batting .950 so far. Makes Ted Williams seem like he was one-armed.

So what's to gain? Well besides losing 4 pounds in one week without watching how much I eat and without exercise, and besides feeling the increases in energy and regularity, and besides the thicker wallet because I can't buy alcohol, well besides those things I've seen no benefit.

I still have a week and a half remaining, and I'll keep JOP updated on my progress, feelings, and cheese cravings.