Trekky Records

Local record company Trekky Records was founded by Will Hackney and Martin Anderson. Will stopped by for a chat about workin', recordin', and cool websites (spoiler - JoP is one!). TrkFest is coming up for Trekky on June 13th. Be sure to check it out!

What or who is the driving force behind Trekky records?

All of the different personalities in the different bands. These weirdos keep Martin and I inspired to keep promoting and releasing their music.

Describe an average Trk business day.
Martin and I listen to the music on my computer with the "Shuffle" feature on. Our office is in the basement of our house and its called "The Pleasure Dome" (by some). Martin and I quietly write emails all, occasionally pausing to make fun of someone or say "This song is awesome" then around one someone yells "LUNCHTIIIIIIIIIIME!" and we go upstairs to eat veggie burgers. Then more emails! Yea girl.

How does a band get signed to Trekky?

You have to know Martin and I or people in the crew for usually about 7 years and then you're in!

Do you actively go out and recruit talent from around the area?

Nope, but we still go to a ton of shows because many of the bands around here are amazing!

What are defining characteristics of Trekky bands?

They all sound very different, but generally a common thread is trying to do something different and un-marketable from a business point of view. We like this.

What bands that you have played in over the years have influenced you the most?

Martin and I started out playing in a loud band called Alvarez Painting that really taught us what its like to be in a band at a very young age. Auxiliary House and Lost in the Trees have taught me the good things and the frustrating things about being in a giant, enormous band.

It's 2024, what does Trekky records look like?

Based on an multi-use compound in Chatham County run on solar power and home to our offices, homes, organic farms, horses, a roller coaster and a recording studio. In other words, an anarchist commune.

What bands outside of Trekky do you take the most inspiration from?

Locally our friends in Megafaun, Bowerbirds, Midtown Dickens and The Rosebuds are all amazing at giving honest performances, making beautiful records and not selling out. Crucial.

In Chapel Hill, what do you find is the best club to play music at?

Nightlight is our longtime favorite venue. We've been doing shows there for nearly a decade and its only getting better in recent months!

What websites do you visit on a daily basis?
Pitchfork, Craigslist, Jar of Paperclips (via Google Reader)

In this era of home recording and distributing local music, other start-ups like Trekky have emerged (ie: Sufficient Records). How do you feel about their competition on the music scene?

We don't compete with anyone, we fully support anyone else trying to make something happen. I've never heard of Sufficient Records...

What are the biggest accomplishments of Trekky to date?

Last year's TRKfest Music Festival, our annual Christmas show and Project Symphony, which was the debut of Ari Picker's (Lost in the Trees) first symphony.

What are some areas that Trekky could work on?

Having money!

What do you consider Trekky's biggest musical release?

The Never's album Antarctica. It was a full album and a 50-page color storybook. Yikes!

What is the biggest time of year for Trekky on the whole?

Usually Autumn I think. We released 5 records last fall. All of our bands are in tune with each other's cycles, I guess.

TrkFest is coming up in June. Tell our readers a lil' something about it!

TRKfest is a one day blissfest in Pittsboro, NC that is now an annual event. All of the Trekky bands and our best friend bands all play out in the hot sun and its wonderful. This year's is Saturday, June 13th and you can check myspace.com/trkfest for info!

What is Trekky's mascot?
An owl. A reclaimed symbol from the free masons. Or Bobby Britt, fiddle player. Beware the fleet fingers of Bobby Britt.


The Owl Room Sessions hearken back to MTV's Unplugged Series. What is your ultimate goal for these sessions?
Just to keep em going and inviting people to have a different sort of show experience. Man, I'll never forget Stone Temple Pilots' MTV Unplugged!

Many Trekky band members cross over to help each other out on other ensemble or solo projects. Not including the ones that have already occurred, what cross-overs would you like to see happen?

We talk about this constantly, trying to come up with the weirdest and most magical combinations. Most recently we've just been talking about putting all of the hottest dudes in one band and having them be an R&B group.

What social causes and projects does Trekky currently participate in? What are some that you foresee becoming involved with?

We have an "Adopt a Highway" road that we clean and our annual Christmas show benefits the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. We do as much as we can on our respective budgets. Hopefully when we are famous we can do a giant concert and buy Chapel Hill a monorail or something.

What radio station do you consider the best/listen to the most in the Triangle area (AKA Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill)?

WXYC is great for a broad range of music. WKNC in Raleigh plays more local music than anyone on earth and they are amazing for that. WXDU is wonderful also. Joe Norkus' show with his Dad on WCOM is a "must-listen".

Of course numbers don't matter, but what do you consider to be a good show for your bands?

One where something happens that could never happen ever again.

What local bands are you digging the most right now, outside of Trekky's?

Hammer No More the Fingers and Kingsbury Manx just released awesome albums.

Is Trekky your sole occupation? What about for other bands? Do members have jobs outside of Trekky?

Most people have day jobs in the Trekky crew. Martin and I work pretty much full time.

The Trekky family just welcomed a new addition to the fam. Are you excited to watch your bands transition into all different phases of their lives, not just musically? What does that mean for the future of Trekky?

This is very exciting for us because indeed Trekky is sort of our whole life and not just our hobby. We all feel like its our baby (in fact we all tried to name it) and we hope that she grows up feeling like she has this giant extended family helping to raise her. Also we hope she starts a band ASAP.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us Will! Our readers look forward to hearing from Martin!

Post-Memorial Day Advice

It seems like people have been spending lots of time with their families lately, which means lots of stress with their families. We got an email over the weekend to see what can be done to accommodate some "non-traditional" readers:

Dear Jar of Paperclips,

i'm a big fan of the blog. however, um, my grandmother can't stand it! whenever she catches me surfing the archives she tells me to turn off the electric bubblegum and get a job. how do we win her over? -Krazy Kid in Kings Mountain

Dear Krazy Kid:

A lot of people who grew up before the 1980s are unfamiliar with computers and tend to lump them together with video games, DVDs, Walkmen, bluetooth...basically, any and all recent technology is equal to "mindwasting crap" to some people. So your first job is to prove to your grandmother that the internet isn't all bad. Start slow and show her some news sites, some educational sites (depending on how old you are), some literature sites. Wholesome stuff! Then introduce her to "blogging," but don't be surprised if she just never comes around to Jar of Paperclips. We'll try to introduce more coverage of gin rummy and Lewis Grizzard, but please don't hold your breath. Honestly, I think your best bet is to get her to see that the internet isn't a bad place at all. Remember: hatred comes from fear!

Are you utterly stuck on some problem in your life? Write us at hifever40@yahoo.com and we can find a way to help you out!

Kickin' it in Costa Rica

So I'm spending the next few weeks in Costa Rica. I'm trying to learn the language and help tutor some kids. We'll be working during the week to augment their schooling and probably traveling around the country on the weekends. Costa Rica is not very big (about the size of West Virginia), and we're living in the center, in the mountain town of San Ramon.

We went to see this waterfall the other day. It fell about 60 meters into that pool. We hiked in some dense jungle and saw a turquoise river. The weather here is fantastic. I walk around in a t-shirt and never get cold. It stays in the 70s during the day, with some afternoon rains. 

I'll try to be a little more up-to-date about my adventures.

Blingee Friday!

This is my roommate Gabriel. He is very tough and you should not mess with him! (Just kidding--he's super-nice, and not really into gang culture!)

Jen Horton: An Examined Life (Part 1 of 2)

Jen is a good friend from Greensboro who's on her way up to grad school in Michigan! She agreed to sit down and talk with us about Gene Wilder, reality shows, Gin Blossoms, and making your own products. Be sure to check Hi Fever later this week for Part Two, when we return to one of our favorite topics: music!

And please excuse the typos--some things are unavoidable on gchat!

me: are you excited to leave greensboro and find out what michigan's all about? Jen: it depends on when I am bored, Winnie. Let me explain...I get really wrapped up in moments. For instance, ifthe tree blows a certain way in GSO or there is a fun event that doesn't get rained out, I get sad about leaving this city.me: ahhi'm the same wayi get very sentimental about places where i live

Jen: I still haven't been able to think about what it will be like in the Midwest.

I like the south...I also like listening to people sing about the south.

me: yaeh

it's nice to live in a place that's so culturally rich

Jen: but I'm assuming people sing about the South in Michigan as well.me: but they're faking

like The Band

i really like the Band, but it's annoying sometimes when they sing about the "southland"

Jen: yes, Neil Young is a good example of understanding that you can sing ABOUT southern men, but a Toronto native cannot BE one.

but nevertheless...Ann Arbor is nice I think...

me: yes

so you've been out to visit?

Jen: I didn't meet a lot of people that were depressed about living there.

I stayed with a graduate student that did not like me (or my style)

me: Ann Arbor seems like a college town from movies

ah

really?

I imagine everyone there is fratty

i know that's not true, but that's how it seems from movies and stuff

Jen: no, there are a lot of hippies and scene kids too.

she just reminded me that it gets cold in Michigan and I should have worn jeans instead of leggings.

I told her they were insulated and not from american apparel. It didn't help.

me: ok

if you had to go on a reality show, which one would you pick?

and how do you think you'd do?

Jen: okay this is hard

can I just say....I've always known I'm not as smart as a 5th grader...

but I've always secretly wanted to be on the set of that show.

that isn't my answer.

In Search of the Partridge Family

me: ohhhhh

ahaha

i haven't even heard of that one!

Jen: it was on VH1 essentially it was casting calls to find the next Partridge Fam

brilliant!

me: oh man

that's such a good idea

so you think you'd make it?

Jen: also, is GUTS a reality show?

me: yeah!

i think that counts

Jen: I know the agro crag isn't extrememly realistic....but I want that to count.

me: game shows, if you think about it, were the first reality shows

Jen: and COPSJen: that's because they chose the f-ing state athletes to do that show and one girl who was athletically challenged was always falling off into the pool of water...

every show

I wanted to be on the show to prove that people who's favorite passtime is WATCHING Guts could also WIN GUTS

now that I am older, I'm slowly realizing that it just isn't that easy to climb a mountain of neon lights and flying confetti.

my bad...

me: ahahahah

Jen: I'd like to meet Moura Kourk though...all the boys had a crush on her...

me: i know!

it was weird

even weirder was the girl at my middle school who had a crush on Mike O'Malley

she was in special ed, but that's the thing i remember about her

she was crushed out on Mike O'Malley???

Jen: whatever, I feel her...sometimes he wore a backwards baseball cap....

me: buttttt...

ok

the cap was cute

but his face!

blech

ok, moving on

susan has a question about the View

do you watch The View?

Jen: only when Barbara Walters talks about Joy Behar's vibrator....

does that count?

me: ahaha

yes

ok

i think the question is actually Susan: which "view" co-host do you most identify with

Jen: okay...

I personally think don't hold a firm connection with any of them...

however, who was that ditz replaced by Lisa Ling?

I felt bad for her...she was really stupid...

Debbie something

me: umm

not elizabeth hasselbeck?

Jen: no, equally as stupid though

she wasn't on long....

it doesn't matter...

How would you describe your approach to makeup and hair products?

Jen: Well, Winnie....when it comes to beauty productsthere is no other part of my life, except for purchasing cycling gear, that I am more into quality....

I try to only use organic products. starting with hair, I swear by this product called phyto.

it is plant based and my good friend Cara sells it at the salon she works at. I have very dry, thick hair that is unmanagable until now.

Ive used the product for over a year, although it is pretty expensive, it has cut down on time for blow drying, straightening, all that stuff that is boring and bad for your hair.

this morning I woke up and all I did was run a comb through it.

as for makeup, I have sensitive skin and my dermatologist told me I can only use clinique or organic makeup....

I am really into bare escentuals...it works really well for me.

further, I have gotten really into organic material as facewash and toner

me: i have a question about toner

Jen: recently, as a gift, I received some face wash and a facial mask by Collective. It was just rosemary sage and peas in the product...I could make it at my house...that is what I love.

me: how/why do you use it?

i have one that i use basically as a light perfume in summer

but i don't know what its real function is

Jen: okay, so toner does well at evening out and purifying your skin.

I mainly use toner after I wash my face to make sure I have gotten everything off my face. then I apply a light moisturizer.

sometimes toner can be too harsh for certain skin types though

me: ah wow

Jen: that is why I stick with burt's bees, collective or clinique

me: that makes a lot of sense

yeahhhh, the one i have is the garden tomato

it smells so good

Jen: yeah! it is good!

me: and i'm glad to know it has a function

Jen: Ive also gotten really into making my own lotions and soaps recently.

it hasnt worked out as well as I imagined, but I am slowly learning.

I recently made a lotion with spearmint and lavendar oil.
me: whoa

with lye?

or how do you do this?

Jen: I also have enough homemade rosemary hand soap to serve a small hotel.

me: ahaha

Jen: no, it was really easy....I just used coconut oil and various other oils for the lotion

and actually used a moisturizing fragance free lotion as the base

me: wow

how did you get the soap to be solid?

or it's liquid?

Jen: liquid

I boiled hot water and grated bar soap

me:Do you wear makeup every day?Jen: hahaaha

this IS a hard one!

today, I am NOT wearing makeup. Mainly because I've been more preoccupied with cooking eccentric lunches to pack for work instead of putting on makeup.

time management, you know?

me: oooh

yes.

Jen: but usually, I wear bare escentuals on my face that has SPF 15 in it, along with mascara.

I'm pretty low maintenance. Sometimes I wear eyeliner when I feel saucy or it's the weekend.

I actually like eyeliner...I just haven't found the best kind that stays on when I am riding my bike or playing a sport...

me: what's your favorite movie and why?

Jen: My favorite movie would have to be Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971 version)

As a small child I adored the movie, watching it more than once a week. I know all the words, all the songs, all the twists and turns.

This is a Jen Horton "best kept secret" but I've always had a crush on Gene Wilder.

I know that is irrational, but it is very true.

Seth Fisher let me borrow a book he wrote once, he is so witty and personable. What a man! (actually referring to Wilder and Fisher)

me: oh man!

ahaha

i saw something on tv about his wife gilda radner

and it broke my heart

he seemed like a really good partner to her

Jen: EEEk I know.

Jen: One time Gilda Radner said "I base my fashion on what doesn't itch"

I live by that quote. I have a magnet of it on my refrigerator.

me:follow-up (not really!): what's your favorite Gin Blossoms song?Jen: Favorite Gin Blossoms song is "Cajun Song" (because of its depth, content, and beat) off 1992's New Miserable Experience

me: holy cow

i am blown away by this answer!

i was expecting "til i hear it from you" or "hey jealousy"

Jen: naw girl

I was a fan, for real.

I only had two compact discs of theirs though.

me: man, that's 2 more than me

i taped their songs off the radio though!

Jen: on cassette?

me: yes.

:(

Jen: I used to tape the top ten songs of the day that came on every night at 9pm on cassette.

I would hate it when N Sync beat Hanson for #1

...TO BE CONTINUED!

Seed Savers

I'm reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver right now. It's about her year of food on her family farm in Virginia and how the family will only eat locally produced food. These kind of "off the grid" "back to a more simple way" types of experiments constantly interest me and seem to be popular these days. I would like to think I could do it, but the other part of me thinks I like chocolate pop-tarts. Barbara's fictional books bore me, and I've never been able to get through one of them. This book so far has been more entertaining. In the last section I read about the Seed Savers Exchange. The nonprofit exchange is focused on saving the seeds of heirlooms for people to have access to for generations. I'm not quoting Barbara correctly by any means, but basically a large portion of the seeds available for planting are corporately controlled by a few companies. And the seeds aren't that great because companies want farmers to buy new seeds every year instead of saving seeds to preserve a unique food. That's the basic gist, and we're the losers left to suffer with inferior tasting cauliflower, tomatoes, melons, etc. Yikes! I just wanted to post it in the event I do get a garden and find myself "off the grid", I'll have a place to start.

"I'm a percentage person."

Sometimes when I'm making plans with friends and I've got something else going on or my attendance depends on another person's absence (sorry! but you know how it goes. sometimes you just don't want to hang with some people), I'll say "I'm 85% sure I'm coming," or "I dunno, only feeling like 9% tonight." It's easier for me AND you, and sort of more fun as well. But I never really thought of relationships (romantic ones, friendships, and business relationships if that's part of your life) in those terms...until I was reading this advice column and the columnist broke down the question as a percent. Which I liked.

The question was "How important is sex for a relationship and what can you do if it stops?"

And his answer was as follows (partially; the full answer is on his site, linked above):

... let me further add that I’m a percentage person. I’ll put a percentage on anything. (Will I make out with her after dinner? 12%.) I’m especially fond of a really low percentage shot, like, was Angie flirting with me? 1.2%. This all gets me to the fact that I’ve thought about the sex question a lot. Which isn’t really a sex or no sex question, but more of a “mutually agreed upon amount needed” question. If two people both don’t like to get it on and find each other.. more power to them. So I’m going to stick with what I’ve got until someone proves me other wise: 50%. Yup, a straight 50. Why? It’s a bit like when a company buys a share of another company. And it is always 49 or 51 percent What the news heads like to call “the controlling share”. It’s only two percent away between the two but a world of difference in what it means to the dynamic on the whole. But at 50, neither works without the other right down the middle. of course there is always fluctuation, so I’ll give my sex math a +/- 4%. It’s also like a test. If you aced the “gets along” half but skipped the sex section (sextion? pow!) you would still fail, and vice versa. Never mind the fact that a relationship with unbalanced sex is just a friend who hangs around too much and stresses you out. No fun there. So yea. that’s my answer, it’s 50 percent of the test. To all those people who are thinking “but we get along so well, so I can look past it…” well, you can’t. Same goes for the “he’s a total loser but the sex is ammmaaaazing..” Anyway you score it, you still get an F for the class. It might hold together for a bit, but either disproportionate situation will eventually erode your personal chunk of love.

Wow. What a good, objective way to look at such a problem. I might take a cue for my own advice-giving! How would you think of your problems if you had to display them in graph form?

Gorgeous Footsteps in the Sand

JoP is turning 1 soon, and we thought some interviews with other "founder's" would be fun.

Today we have Katelin of Gorgeous Footsteps in the Sand. Katelin and I went to college together at Denison University (class of '06!!!). Her blog just was chosen as one of Blogger's blogs to read, so I thought she'd have some good blogging advice for our year-old blog. Congrats Katelin on the achievement!!

Why did you start your blog?

I read blogs all day for my job and my friends and I had started a group blog that went nowhere so I thought I'd try one for myself.

What goals did you have for it then?

I don't think I had any. I just wanted to write and see what would happen.

What goals do you have for it now?

I think just to keep having fun with it and not let other people determine what I want to write or how I write.

How did you come up with Hollywood Tuesdays as a segment?

I started posting so much Hollywoodness all over the place that I figured Tuesdays were a good day to put them into. You can look back in the archives and I was all over the place, eventually it started to come into a rhythm of posting which I love.

Is Violet Affleck your favorite Hollywood baby because her mom went to Denison??

Haha, yeah I think that's part of it. That and she is always so happy and seems so normal and the whole family is just so freakin cute.

Do you ever feel like you share to much or your fiancee doesn't like what you share online?
Umm no I think I do a pretty good job of keeping some things private and making sure to share the good stuff. And if he didn't want me to share it I think he'd tell me.

Do you track your site visits? Does it vary or do you have the same popular days week after week?

Guilty as charged. I stopped for a while, but I check Sitemeter and Google Analytics pretty regularly. And it pretty much stays the same, however lately with the blogger of note recognition my readership has sky rocketed and it's sort of awesome.

Are you surprised at what posts get the most visits?

Sometimes like I think I posted a post all about TV shows I watch and I got a ton of comments but then a week later I posted something else Hollywoodish and not a whole lot of responses.

You're in California, so I've always wondered how your posts are always up at 9am for that day. In a recent post you mentioned that you post the night before. Is that something you've always done and why?

I pretty much write my posts the day or night before now and have them scheduled to go up at 2am. I didn't always do this, but it makes it easier and I realized I have a lot of East Coast readers so I figured why not have it up for them to read in the morning.

What kind of involvement do you have with BlogHer and 20-something bloggers listed on your site?
Well I went to BlogHer last year for work and I got to meet a ton of bloggers I read personally and luckily I get to do it all over again this year and I cannot wait. As for the 20 Something Bloggers it's a group that a fellow blogger started to bring us 20 somethings together and man has it worked. I was member 200 something and now it's up to almost 6,000 I believe. I definitely recommend checking it out.

Do you think ads are a good way to up a blog's readership?

Umm I don't know that they've helped my readership increase but a nice check every once and a while is fun! :)

Did you design the blog yourself?

Yeah I designed it myself, maybe one day I'll get a spiffy design made my someone who actually knows how to do that stuff, I just messed around with it.

Is your blog just as much for friends and family now as it is for you?

Yeah I think a lot of friends and family that I may not see that often are reading it and seeing stories from my life and it's great like that. And it's good for me because I can always look back on what I've written and enjoy it all over again.

Do you want comments after every post?? (Or is that just me??)
I think deep down everyone wants a comment on their posts, but if I don't get any or get a lot I'm quite alright with that too.

Gorgeous footsteps in the sand... was just named a blog to read on Blogger. I'm still new to the scene, but how does a blog get chosen for this?

Not gonna lie, it feels awesome. I couldn't believe it. I have no idea how they chose those blogs but I feel pretty freakin special.

Do you have a favorite post?

I think my favorite most is my engagement story and the time I met Ryan Gosling (or any other celeb encounter I've blogged about). Both stories just make me so happy, granted the engagement one a little bit more so :)

What do you think makes for a good blog?

I think when someone is honest, somewhat witty or funny, and blogs somewhat regularly. Those are a couple things I love in a blog and I think it helps your readers get to know you.

You recently got engaged - have you considered having the ceremony at Swasey???????? Maybe with Dale T officiating??
Haha yeah I think I'll pass on that one. Definitely

having a So Cal wedding :)

Let's Talk...Movies

ABCFam had a Mother's Day Marathon of Mom Movies. This basically seemed to include every Julia Roberts pic and The Sound of Music. Julie Andrews - yes. Julia Roberts - I could take or leave her. She's like Tom Hanks to me - are we better with or without her?? I think they generally don't contribute a lot. BUT! Then I was reminded of how great Stepmom is. Stepmom and I have had a varied history - I would catch parts of it on college weekends, but I was never sure of the story timeline. In New York, my roommate had a copy of the DVD and I became hooked.


awesome!

-the setting: Ed Harris' NY penthouse is so cool. Even 11 years later. Well done set designers. Susan Sarandon's home is cute in it's country casual chic way as well. They've basically let me have both of my home fantasies in 1 movie. The scenes in Central Park are spectacular as well - who doesn't love the castle photo shoot??

-the little boy: This kid is cute.

-cheesy musical numbers: The classic Thanksgiving scene where Ben is the turkey and is "shot" for dinner. Kids + a holiday = movie gold. "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" also gets a lot of airtime - they sing it in the car with Julia and the big "dance" number with the kids and Susan in their house.

hilarious!

• -Julia's hair in this movie. Is it blonde? Is it brunette? Is it a bad dye job? Yes to all 3.

-Ed Harris. Sometimes I find his love story with Julia hard to believe, but then again this is called Stepmom. Emphasis on the mom.

-Susan toking up. Because we all know she does it in real life.

-"Don't touch me. You bring bad luck." -probably my favorite line in the movie.

-Julia getting a male "model" to make Anna's ex-bf jealous. This kid looks like he came from Home Improvement's 1989 set.

-Julia wanting to get her soon-to-be stepdaughter tickets to a Pearl Jam concert on a School Night! Susan says "Are you kidding?". Only to have Susan get the tickets and take her daughter anyway! Bam! Pearl Jam?? On a school night!#$! This movie is so hip! I love it.

Breed All About It

Dear JoP,

Our beloved dog died almost two years ago (minus a month and a half) and we're ready to get a new one. We're looking to get a western terrier. They are similar to the previous dog we had, a miniature schnauzer, although the hair will go from salt and pepper to just white. We're having trouble choosing a suitable name. We're going to get a girl, and we'd like her to have a persons name, not something like snickers. Should we name her Eileen after the girl who watched our kids as we were growing up? Thanks for your help.

-Cesar Milan

Dear Cesar,

First of all, I'm glad that you took some time to consider a new pup. This is not a decision to enter into lightly. It sounds like you've done your homework on what breed works best for you and your family. This is great news as it will make the transition easier for a new puppy if she can fit in with your family's lifestyle.

Names are hard. My family had a particularly hard time coming up with one for me. A solid two-syllable name will make it easy for the dog to recognize and train her. Eileen is a nice choice because you obviously have some sentimental attachment to the name. Personally I find it easiest to name a new pet after you have been interacting with her for awhile. Eileen might be good in theory, but your new dog might not be an "Eileen". I was about to be "Izzy", "Pickles", or "Rita" - how embarrassing! Brainstorming names is a good way to start, but to really get the dogs personality you might want to wait a bit to see if she has any defining character traits.

-Dora

In the hospital

Hey gang,

Sorry I haven't spit at you in awhile. I'm here with my buddy Stephen in the hospital. Stephen fell down some steps and ruptured a kidney, tore his liver a little bit, and tore his ACL and MCL. He's in bad shape, but he's getting better. Right now nurse Lindsey is changing his IV. He's been in the hospital almost a week now and had three surgeries. I'm keeping him company tonight so that his mom can get a good night of sleep. Sleeping on the floor of the hospital ain't nice on a lady in her 60's (? Sorry miss P. if I think you're older than you are.)

Anyway, I'm gonna be hanging around all night. Hopefully I can get some sleep, the doctors are coming in at 5:30 in the morning. I'll give ya'll an update if anything exciting happens tonight. Don't count on it.

-T

One more, real quick

Combing through the heap of questions in my inbox, I spotted this little one. I've got five minutes, have you?

Dear Jar of Paperclips,
my boyfriend and i are figthing about our musical tastes. i want to go to the taylor swift concert and he's threatening to break up with me over it. hElP!

ps here is a picture of my boyfriend when he was little. see how cute he is!!

The key here is going to be compromise. If he won't go with you, go with a friend. If he forbids you to go, break up with him AS SOON AS POSSIBLE cuz that means he's an abuser (not to mention a real jerk. no offense but it looks from the picture like that guy would grow up to be a jerk). And just don't talk about music with him until you're both ready to give each others' favorites a chance.

Time for some advice!

It's been a while, but we're still hacking away at the huge backlog of questions we've been receiving (keep 'em coming! we can always use more. gchat is the preferred medium). This week, we deal with some sensitive mother-daughter issues.

Dear Jar of Paperclips,

I am a reasonably attractive middle-aged woman, but i am nothing compared to my stunning seventeen year old daughter. Men turn to jello when she walks into the room.
While i am proud of her on the one hand, i am also insanley jealous of the affect she has on them. Am I a sick person for feeling this way?

from, horrified in Hartford

Your first responsibility, Horrified, is to be a good mom.
This means you shouldn't be jealous of your daughter's male attention, but protective of her during this vulnerable time. Make sure she knows what's what, sex-wise, and with a good dose of self-esteem to protect her in relationships as well. That said, you are not a sick person for feeling this way. Try a new hairstyle, or take some pottery classes. Honestly, it sounds like you're in a rut and that your daughter's just a symbol for your past youth and exuberance. Get out there, meet some new people, and have fun! After all, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree--your daughter had to have gotten her looks from somewhere!

Dope son, real dope

We should wonder how Michael Phelps won one gold medal, let alone eight in Beijing. That babe is Miss California USA. See below.

Miss Cali is back...

...to agitate you. Carrie Prejean, aka Miss USA runner-up, continues stoking the fires of the same-sex marriage debate. She recently joined the National Organization for Marriage to endorse a pro-opposite marriage campaign. "Marriage is good," Prejean said at the news conference discussing the endorsement. "There is something special about unions of husband and wife. Unless we bring men and women together, children will not have mothers and fathers."

Apparently Ms. Prejean wants people to start fucking, at the least. Regardless, she appeared in an ad for the group, and plans more. I hope someone else writes copy for their commercials. Not her, nor the person who named the group N.O. for Marriage.

Now it seems she might lose her runner-up position because she posed for semi-nude photos when she was 17 (not that one). Such an act is grounds for disqualification, based on the contract she signed to participate in the pageant. At this point, whether or not she loses her title of "Non-Winner" would have no bearing on her fame. Same thing if she loses the title of Miss California USA. 

Despite these (potential) setbacks, way to go Carrie! Keep up the good fight of promoting opposite marriage. America needs less gay dudes saying "I do," and more straight dudes abusing their wives, divorcing them, cheating on them, and belittling them. Marriage is pure!

Look out, here comes some sports

The NBA is considering shortening its season. Please do it! I need this. America needs this. We are addicted to sports.

The NBA season is already very long. It lasts 82 games, each 48 minutes. Most college teams play only 40% as many minutes during their seasons. Yet even that season feels too long. It amazes me that in our ADD world, our sports are getting longer. The NFL is in serious discussion to lengthen the season by two games. We already deal with endless, endless, draft coverage. 

We take note of fewer things for less time in life in general, yet we focus longer on more sports. That clearly means we are addicted. We can't send an entire nation to sports rehab, so the only other solution is for the sports to help us. Help us by shortening the seasons. Not just in the NBA, but everywhere. 

Because I'll relapse.