My Olympic Dream

The Olympics test the best in their respective sports. I want to take the question, "Who is the best at sport ___?" to the next level. Who is the best athlete in the world?

Track enthusiasts call decathletes the best athletes on Earth. Track and field is officially known as Athletics after all. Its 10 events test running, jumping, and throwing, the basics of athletics: speed, strength, and agility.

My dream to is to ramp it up. I want to see at the Summer Games a pan-sport competition. Every day a new sport for the participants. For example, the athletes could start with biking. The next day they swim. The next day they run. Follow that up with a wrestling tournament, rowing, fencing, archery, tennis, gymnastics, weightlifting, and more. We can throw in some winter sports for good measure.

The sports and their order are irrelevant. But the winner of this tournament could truly claim the mantle World's Greatest Athlete.

Review Round-Up: Have One on Me

Joanna Newsom's new album, Have One on Me, was finally released today and we are pretty pumped about it over here. But something annoying is happening in "journalism" where music reviews are concerned and that is lazy writing. Also comments on a musician's physical appearance...are male musicians ever described as "sexpots"? Anyway, how many times can you spot the following in any given review of this album?:

"pixie"
"elfin"
"dreamlike"
"indie princess"
"quirky"
"whimsical"
"freak folk"
"16th-century kewpie doll"

reference to Kate Bush
reference to Joni Mitchell
reference to Bjork
reference to Tori Amos (there are only 4 female artists, ever)

Now on to the reviews:

The one in Paste is annoying, but at least it's original.

The NYT review is probably the best piece of music writing of the bunch.

LA Times' write-up is pretty mediocre.

And I hate to say it, but Pitchfork is unassailable as usual. No lazy musical signposts, no complaints about the quality of her voice, no comment on JN's appearance or personal life.

And I straight-up hate the AV Club's review, mostly because of the comments discussing how hot she is, whether she or the girl from Beach House is hotter, what they would like to do to her, etc. Even a classy mention of DSL!

Ugh. If you can find any better reviews, leave them in the comments. If they exist, I wanna know!

Mysteries of Our Time

I've been buggin' because I can't figure out who Gold medal Figure Skater Evan Lysacek resembles.  He looks boy-bandish in the 2nd photo - but that aside, who else does he remind you of?

Headlines

Here are some headlines that caught our eye today...try not to get freaked out!

Toyota Official Says Recall May Not Fully Solve Safety Problem

No Brownies at Bake Sales, but Doritos May Be O.K.



Bacon chocolate cookies??? What mom has a recipe for those/I wonder if they were good???

Finally - Cheney Sustained Mild Heart Attack.

Third and Delaware

Somebody in my life (named Rob) has been on sort of a Roseanne kick lately, and I gotta be honest: it takes a lot to get me psyched up for that show. I was only allowed to watch it sporadically when I was a kid (roll call of shows I was allowed to watch: The Wonder Years, The Cosby Show, Sesame Street, Cheers, Seinfeld, and Frasier. Step by Step, Boy Meets World, Family Matters, etc. etc. Notice the conspicuous lack of the Simpsons and Martin, the two shows I wanted to watch more than any other) and so it never had the forbidden-fruit appeal of Thirtysomething, you know?

Anyway, here's a blog about all the fashion and style on every episode of Roseanne. See if you get any tips for spring fashion...I know I have!

[Thanks to Cafe Con Lesley]


UPDATE: did you know that Thirtysomething, Seasons 1-4 are all on Netflix (some on instant play)??? Thirtysomething party at my house next week!

Celine Dion is Amazing

The We Are the World video reminded me of Celine Dion's own brand of craziness. This video cements how insane she is - and I can't stop watching!!

We are the World

I've avoided the new "We are the World" video and song for a while. But then I finally caved, and boy was it worth it! There are so many hilarious parts, I don't even know where to start. Nice points: they included Michael Jackson's old voice recording. The laughable parts are so plentiful I don't even know where to begin. And the best thing is, the longer you watch, the better it gets. All I could think was "boy, this would make a great SNL skit!"

There's a strong start with that youngest Disney product--I'm not sure of his name. Tony Bennett is in there too! There's even a rap-breakdown in the middle of the song with like, every commercially famous rapper who has ever lived practically. Then Kanye has his own solo rap which is simply pathetic sounding.

High points:

-Celine Dion

-'Lil Wayne

-T-Pain doing his animatronic voice

-spotting Julianne Hough in the "chorus" group

Ed note: from Susan: The original video. The best parts: the beginning 80's magic dust-esque intro, Kenny Rogers and the way Springsteen makes every note heartfelt.

5 Pic Friday

How much longer can this winter last?? I feel like I'm going to go out of my mind. Are they kidding me with this weekend?

Luckily I won't feel like I'm missing anything at the movies. You can tell this movie is going to be bad with this many actors in it. This many bad actors! If this is Valentine's Day, yikes!!

Sade's new album is timed for Valentine's day, and it looks awesome. I have to have it.

If Valentine's Day isn't enough of a holiday for you - how about the start of the Winter Olympics 2010??? I'm pumped for Johnny Weir's free skate.

I'm wondering what celebrities will be at Olympic events. Maybe fellow Canadian Will Arnett??

Congrats to Sun!

For winning our poll! Good luck on the final season!

Song of the Day

Via Italy.

sexist? you be da judge.

When I saw this I was a little irked. As if to say, if you are domesticated at all as a man, you are compromising? And its too much work or too feminine to recycle?

Was a game last night?

MAIL BAG!

It's been a while since we've reached down into that deep bag of letters here at JoP. We at Jar of Paperclips value each and every hand-written and electronic mail item we receive. The amount of incoming mail is so extensive that it is difficult to answer each and every one. We've picked a few in the category of "Health and Diet" which we thought might be of particular interest to our audience. Here we go!

Dear JoP,

I don't eat a lot of meat and I'm worried about getting my 0mega-3 fatty acids. I can't sleep at night...what can I do???

Thanks,

Omega-less in Omaha

p.s. Don't tell me to take a vitamin!

An excellent inquiry! The primary source of most of the omega 3's for Americans is through animal products, like meat and dairy, fish being the best source. If you don't eat a lot of these why not incorporate ground flax seed in your diet? Flax is growing in popularity in America for its great health benefits. It's a great heart-healthy way to get your omega-3's. Many people often find it to be a great laxative as well.

I hear its important to a) grind it up, and b) grind it up right before you use it. Say, in a coffee grinder. If you don't grind it up it will apparently pass through your system and not break down, and you won't get as many benefits. Then add to oatmeal or hot cereal, anything you are baking, pancakes, yogurt, really the list goes on and on. It adds a bit of a nutty taste. Great question, you are smart in being concerned about getting these brain sharpening omegas!

Next...

Dear Jar of Staples,

I HATE exercise. And when I say "HATE" I mean "HATE". It just seems like, so stupid, but I know its healthy, and I've gained a few pounds in the past couple years. Do you have a diet plan that works?

Got a gut in Greenville

Dear Gut,

First off, its Paperclips, not Staples. Think about it this way, our current culture has enabled us to be extremely inactive if we so choose. This is a contemporary problem, and perhaps was once only a problem for the extremely wealthy. I've heard it said many times before, "If there was a pill that could encapsulate the many benefits of exercise, everybody would be taking it" or something like that.

The point is this, get active! I don't think its possible for anyone to hate exercise, its just a mind game. You don't have to run ten miles right now, just go on a walk. Slowly build up, and walk more and more. If you do this every day, you can build up to almost anything you want to athletically if you are in good health. With food its simple math. Eat what's healthy, watch the calories. The calories you take in, you also get rid of by being active; its simple math. Remember this, exercise not only helps the physical body, but your emotional well-being as well.

Dear JoP,

I've had some strange digestive problems over the past few years. I've also developed migraine headaches, skin rashes, and just don't feel as good as I used to. I'm tired of treating each of these symptoms individually. What's up with my body???

Thanks,

Crappy in Calcutta

Dear Crappy,

I'm sorry for all of your problems. I'm not a doctor, so I can't say for sure. But I can suggest something! It is estimated that 1 in 100 people suffer from Celiac's disease whether they know it or not. This is also known as being gluten-intolerant, and the patient can't consume wheat, rye, or barley. It is responsible for a wide variety of symptoms, including some of the ones you mentioned. Try for yourself! Go off gluten for a couple weeks and see if there are any differences. It may be difficult at first, but there are some great gluten-free rice products out there!

DISCLAIMER: these statements have not been written by a doctor and therefore do not eat anything or exercise without first speaking with your doctor.

The Elephant in the Room?

(This is how I felt about LOST last night)

And by "room" I mean "my brain," because as soon as I got home last night I couldn't shake the realization that LOST sorta sucks. At first it all seemed to make sense--the plot points were zany for sure, but they were tight and dovetailed neatly together. Now they're all over the map. Literally, the space-time continuum!

When I found out the writers are writing as they go, that was the nail in the coffin. And it explains everything that was supposed to be "mind-blowing" in last night's episode: they're just casting a wide net, hoping something will stick and give them a path to write their way out of this mess.

I can't stay interested in characters who are alive one minute and dead the next and then alive again, but in someone else's body from ancient times, and that "person" is actually the smoke monster, which did anyone else see those crappy special effects?

Please argue with me. I want to like Lost again! I better, because I'm too roped-in at this point to just walk away.

JOP editors, edit this as needed. Just sign in as jarofpaperclips and let me (Winnie) know if you need the password!

LOST fever

"I like it when we do group scenes. If you position yourself just right, you're not on camera that much and you get to just cut up and have fun most of the time. I've become quite an artist at positioning myself where I'm mostly just having fun on the set all day. I loved it when I got shot and was unconscious for, like, half a season because I was getting carried everywhere."

-Josh Holloway aka Sawyer

"I won't be doing any more television... I've done two six-year shows, about 300 hours of television. I'm done with that."

-Matthew Fox aka Jack

"It's been emotionally charged when cast members that you know and care about have gotten killed off or left the show or whatever. So with each person coming back, it's been a blast like, 'We made it to another season.' We have a reunion and laugh about things and have a Mai Tai and hang out on the beach. There was some talk of starting a pool among us to guess who would be killed off each year, but we decided that would be too depressing. It was like, 'Wow, I could be on that list.'"

-Josh Holloway aka Sawyer

Congrats to Sawyer!

For being the winner of our poll!!!!! Better luck next time Sayid.