*@~~~LoVeS iT~~~@* P@r+ 2.

The Honeymoon. In Mexico!

*@~~~LoVeS iT~~~@*

But really, I do "loves it." I loves it a lot.

The Power of Suggestion: All the Movies I Want to See

Summer is coming up, I've finished Infinite Jest, and I'm ready to party. Party with movies, that is! Everything I read lately has been tempting me with movies to Netflix. Oh, and I just upgraded my plan...whoops! If anyone wants to come over, or host me, to watch these--with some fine wine, obviously--let me know. I am fairly unscrupulous in my movie taste (I just want to be entertained), but Robert is much more critical and discriminating, so it's a fair bet I'll have to find someone else to go see I Love You, Man with. Here's what else is on my list:

High School Musical 1-3! This article and the above collage make it look really fun! Plus I've heard rave reviews, especially of number three.

Adventureland: Last night, Graham told me it was good, and it looks good and I heard the music was really good. Plus, it's that kid from The Squid and the Whale, and I liked that movie, so this is pretty much a sure thing.

Tyler Perry: all movies. I'm so curious about these! Who is this guy? (Girl?) What's the deal?

Bruno. I really like Sacha Baron Cohen! This one is actually coming to theaters, so I might have to venture out of the house. Will probably be worth it, right?

Houseguest! Just look at the poster. Phil Hartman AND SINBAD, together?! I've seen this one before but that was literally 15 years ago. Time for a review.

Twilight. I hate to say it, but I'm curious about this too. Plus, my sister told me she'd watch it with me.

Fireproof. The biggest one for me, anyway. This looks hilarious and everybody is taking it seriously and Kirk Cameron is just too crazy. He wouldn't kiss the actress playing his wife in this movie! Even though he is an actor himself, and so is his real-life wife! Don't sign up to be an actor if you won't pretend to kiss another actor for a part! Also, all the "funny" scenes are cracking me up, and for all the wrong reasons.

The Informers. I legitimately want to see this one, because it turns out I've seen every Bret Easton Ellis-based movie and I love them all. Less Than Zero, anybody??!

I Love You, Man. Here's a secret: I'm a big fan of all of these kinds of movies. More than I ever want to admit, but too late for that. Jason Segel? Paul Rudd? Even Russell Brand? It is very hard for me to seriously criticize these people.

So who's with me? We can watch these wine or no wine, other drinks or no other drinks. We can even watch these without making fun of them...if you want! Let me know and I'll get a sign-up sheet started.

This is Raleigh

At the Hurricanes game Sunday, one of the highlights for me had nothing to do with hockey. During one stoppage in play, the video board displayed a welcome message for 2009 national champion Tyler Hansbrough, whom they showed sitting in a nice seat enjoying the game.

I cheered, but everyone else leapt out of their seats, frothing at the mouth, in a desperate attempt to undo the past and alleviate their pain by killing a former college basketball player. Just a few minutes later, the video screen displayed a welcome message for 1983 national champion, and current NC State coach, Sidney Lowe. He received...NO reaction. 

C'mon State fans, where's your pride? Lowe delivered the same thing Psycho T did, and he gets nothing for it? Later in the game the camera again focused on Lowe, as if the arena people were saying to the crowd, "Seriously, cheer this guy at least a little bit." He did receive warm applause, but nothing like the viscerally negative outburst poured on Tyler Hansbrough.

Everybody hates Hansbrough. I get it. I don't get why seemingly so few Carolina watch hockey. The Hurricanes fans now do the same think Wolfpack fans do during the national anthem. They shout "Red" as in "the rockets RED glare." A bit tacky, but it shows your allegiance. 

I discussed this with my girlfriend's dad as we left the game and walked toward the car. He asked simply, "Why aren't there more Carolina fans at the hockey games?" Some Idiot in front of us turned to say, "This is Raleigh."

The rest of the discussion went mostly like this:

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean there aren't any UNC fans in Raleigh,"  I said.

"This is Raleigh," Idiot said. "No UNC fans here."

I looked at him incredulously. "But I'm a UNC fan and I live in Raleigh," I said.

He huffed. It seemed to him that not only did UNC fans not live in Raleigh, they could not and would not commute to Raleigh for any reason, certainly not to watch a hockey game. 

"This is Raleigh," he stated again and again.

I realized I would be unable to convince Idiot of that UNC other than myself do live in Raleigh. I decided not to discuss it any further. But my girlfriend's dad did not. He kept on the point, but Idiot continuously rebuffed him with "This is Raleigh."

I guess Idiot's thinking was, "I live in Raleigh and associate with people of type X. Therefore, there cannot be any people other than type X living in Raleigh." Just because you say it does not make it so, Idiot.

Other things Idiots have said throughout history:

Herr Idiot: "There are no Jews here, this is Deutschland!"

Mate Idiot: "There are no Aboriginals left here in 'Straya."

Cowboy Idiot: "We don't have no fags here, this is Texas."

Watch out UNC fans. If you dare to attend a Hurricanes game, lookout. The Idiot lurks. He will find you, and scream one thing at you, a la the guy from 300: "THIS IS RALEIGH!!!!"

Let's Have a Dance Party Soon!

I'm looking at you, Dr. Wow. It's been so long! Mr. Ahhh or BLCK DMND, feel free to come back in town. Corey, Ango, Grey, you too. Look what you're missing out on!

I like this picture because, despite my trance-y face (not listening to "trance," btw), my hair is so shiny!

*CrUsH aLeRt*: Chuck Bass

I wish I could quit you Gossip Girl.

Grey Gardens

I've been obsessed with Grey Gardens since discovering it in college. For those unfamiliar with the story - Grey Gardens is a 10 bedroom home in the Hamptons owned and lived in by Edith Bouvier Beale, Big Edie, and her daughter, Little Edie. They are most famous for being the aunt and cousin of Jackie Kennedy as well as starring in the Mayles brothers' documentary "Grey Gardens". The documentary is a "cult classic" (I hate that term), because it documents their life in the decaying mansion and how the 2 women lived with 52 cats and countless raccoons on the overgrown lot. It kind of reminds me of a precursor to reality shows today because these women have such mother/daughter issues on display for us to watch. I've always been a little bit scared of the film because these women and the state of the house kind of creep me out - but at the same time - fascinate me! But I think I'm at the point where I just have to see it. Last weekend HBO debuted their movie version of Grey Gardens with Jessica Lange (Big Edie) and Drew Barrymore (Little Edie). Apparently it gives more context about events that brought the 2 women to the house again, their dependence on one another, and their lost hopes and dreams. Also, the costumes look excellent.

The way the Edie's lived in the home is only half of my interest. In 1979 Ben Bradlee and his wife, Sally Quinn bought the home from the Edie's and promised not to tear it down. Ben Bradlee used to edit the Washington Post, (most interestingly) during the Watergate years. I think this is why I'm most fascinated in the story still - the fact that Ben Bradlee owns it. My point with all this is that I would love to see photos of the house now. Countless photos exist of the house when it's on the verge of death, but now people that go to the house say how magical and mysterious it is. How could it not be?? I'd be a little freaked out to sleep there, but I hear Sally did an excellent job keeping the original house in tact. So far the only things I've been able to find (other than pictures of the front exterior), are these photos of the gardens today. Seriously - isn't it beautiful??

Which editor is the #1 High School Musical fan?

Some "bunny" turns 25 today! Happy Birthday Winnie!

Something else to whine about

Last week it was all about not wanting to pay taxes and throwing Tea Parties; this week it's all about how Miss California was robbed of the Miss America title for her answer on gay marriage. Where to start?????

Let's get it out of the way that the Miss America pageant is dumb. GIVEN.

I also should say that I'm no fan of Perez Hilton. Obviously he sucks and is no kind of respectable source for blah blah blah. Nobody is saying this guy is correct or stands for anything.

So then this Miss California was behind anyway. Her scores were all on the low end compared to Miss North Carolina (raise up!, etc) before this question business.

And, point #4, her answer was stupid. Not "politically incorrect," just stupid. Stupid how? "We live in a land where we can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage"-stupid. Opposite marriage???!! She went on to add "no offense." I think any criticism directed at her response has more to do with the wtf-ness of the whole point of the question, which is to jump through the hoop of being "articulate" and "thoughtful" in a basic way. The idea wasn't for her to have recited the Bill of Rights or say that she was pro-gay marriage, just for her not to sound like somebody I went to middle school with. "No offense!"

Here are some excerpts from her hilarious interview with Fox:

FOXNews.com: How are you feeling today?

Carrie Prejean: Honestly, happy. This happened for a reason. By having to answer that question in front of a national audience, God was testing my character and faith. I'm glad I stayed true to myself.

...

FOXNews.com: Did your stomach sink when you first heard you picked Perez Hilton's question?

Carrie Prejean: I had a gut feeling. I knew he was controversial, and so was the question. Out of all the topics I studied up on, I dreaded that one, I prayed I would not be asked about gay marriage. If I had any other question, I know I would have won.

Of course you would have. Or maybe you should think your opinions through (you "studied up on" the other ones--why not this one?) so that when somebody on a nationally televised pageant stage asks you about them, you don't come off like a fool. Easily you could have said "I don't believe in gay marriage...sanctity of...one man one woman..." and so on. It's not like there aren't enough talking points to fall back on! Instead, you winged it with something about"opposite marriage"? P-lease.

The Island

A fun read! Maybe we could make his blogroll?

What's on your mind?

New feature alert! "What's on your mind" will let you know just what is on our minds!

What's on my mind today?

FRUIT. I don't need any groceries, just fruit to eat as dessert and snacks and stuff. But here's the thing: I hate going to the grocery store for just one thing. And I'm tired of apples and oranges. Are there any crazy fruits out there that would be worth the trip? Any fruit recommendations?

The Birthplace: Big F'ing Deal

Yesterday I saw an Ohio plate which, like all others, said, "Birthplace of Aviation." Long has Ohio pissed me off in this regard. 

The Wright Brothers were born in Ohio. Terrific. They labored on their ideas of flight in Ohio. Grand. Ohio is the home of Wright-Patterson Air Force Base and blah blah blah. Ohio's role in flight history is unquestionable. Yet its natives always neglect one thing:

The first flight ACTUALLY HAPPENED in North Carolina. 

Ask your parents where to find your birthplace. They won't tell you it occurred quietly in a Fort Lauderdale Motel 6 while your older siblings were asleep on the next bed. They'll say, "The Baptist Hospital," or "the back seat of our car," or whatever it says on your birth certificate. They say that because that was the place where you were ACTUALLY BORN. 

Your parents, like most people, understand that ideas don't count for shit, actions do. Nobody cares where Michelangelo thought about painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. They just want to see the ACTUAL MASTERPIECE. 

So some guys thought up the moon landing in a smoky Houston conference room, or a smoky Washington Congressional office, or in a smoky lab at Cape Canaveral. Wherever it was it was certainly smoky, because a bunch of stressed scientists pressured by the government to beat the Russians to the moon in the 1960s are going to smoke a lot. Anyway, no one cares where they thought it up, just that the moon landing occurred, (shock) on the moon. 

Ask someone about D-Day. They won't know a damn about where Eisenhower & co. planned it, nor would it matter. A great idea is nothing without actions. The Wrights could have grown old and died with ideas about flying, but unless they took their Flyer to Kitty Hawk we might never have known their names. 

In 1802 Congress passed the Enabling Act. It allowed residents of the then-Northwest Territory to begin formal steps to its eventual statehood. Sure, this was but one step of many in bringing Ohio from a wilderness to a U.S. state. Most of the credit goes to the men and women who toiled on the land and populated it extensively enough to eventually reach statehood. They were doing the real acting in bringing the state of Ohio from an idea to a reality. 

In Washington it was merely a brainchild of politicians. Congress debated the ways to make Ohio a reality. Men like Charles Pinckney and Gouverneur Morris surely discussed theories about admitting Ohio to the Union. 

Hmm...ideas, debates, theories. This sounds familiar. Perhaps Washingtonians should start referring to their hometown as "Washington: Birthplace of Ohio."

Kim & Mickey

I really like this picture - I could stare at it for hours.

Blind Item: Which Editor Demands 'The Same Blow That the Celebs Do?' And Is Turning 25 Today?

Just kidding! Try and guess whose birthday is today. Here are some hints:

• She's a founding blogger here at JoP--a huge, huge accomplishment!!
• She lives in Chapel Hill but grew up in Raleigh. And then went to college in Ohio.
  
• There's another blingee of her today at Hi Fever.
• Her family just welcomed a puppy into their lives...
• ...and no, it's not Sasha or Malia Obama!
• She used to love pizza rolls. As in wouldn't stop talking about them!

Can you guess??????

Found by someone in Spokane, WA

I just can't bring myself to link to Street Boners (sorry I'm just so ashamed of my like for Gavin McInnes and his post-Vice site is disgusting but I sort of like it ok I love it).

This is it

You've all been waiting for #1. Here is the list again:

#10) Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian: $170 million

#9) Star Trek: $177 million

#8) The Twilight Saga: New Moon: $182 million

#7) Where the Wild Things Are: $203 million

#6) X-Men Origins: Wolverine: $208 million

#5) Up: $224 million

#4) Terminator: Salvation: $234 million

#3) Avatar: $286 million

#2) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: $317 million

And your 2009 box office champion will be...

#1) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: $415 million

Here are how action sequel box office grosses have increased in this decade- National Treasure: +27%, Pirates of the Caribbean: +37%, Bourne: +45%, Matrix: +64%: all coming on the heels of their predecessors. That is the key. The buzz is still there. Indiana Jones and Terminator 3 suffered because people had forgotten the originals already. And you wonder why Hollywood never comes up with any new ideas for movies. 

Transformers, despite its mediocre reviews, finished third in 2007. Only third editions from Spider-Man and Shrek could beat it, and not by much. If I give the film a seemingly pedestrian increase of 30%, that still adds almost $96 million to its 2007 gross. I thought the first movie mostly sucked. But the special effects were so bad-ass that I will guarantee myself a spot in the theater on opening night. You will too.

Big shout out (and retaliatory deep chop) to Michael Pearce for guessing correctly (sort of).

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I was listening to Morning Edition on my drive to work and today is Handel's 250th anniversary of death. This got me thinking about how special this week is. And I'm not just saying that! Seriously! A lot of noteworthy events have happened during this small span of time (for the purposes of this post, small span of time=4/14-4/16). Below is a run-down of some of the things I find interesting:

4/15/1452: Leonardo da Vinci is born.

4/14/1863: The Donner party sets off on their year-long Western journey. What a crazy trip that was!

4/15/1889: Thomas Hart Benton (muralist) is born. The placement of his murals in universities and the Missouri State Capitol is something I've always liked because it takes away the "museum fatigue" that I generally feel - where I have to learn/appreciate all works really quickly in a really uptight setting. More realistically art should be a part of our lives in a public space. Also, I just love the look of his work.

4/15/1892: GE is formed. This surprised me. I guess everyone else knew GE was that old?

4/14/1863 - 4/15/1863: President Lincoln is shot at Ford's Theater and dies on the morning of the 15th. I have always felt a connection to him. This fact really spooked me when we went to visit Ford's Theater and the museum as a child.

4/16/1889: Charlie Chaplin is born. I've always been more interested in his life off-camera than his films.

4/14/1912-4/15/1912: The Titanic hits an iceberg and sinks on the morning of the 15th.

4/16/1912: Catherine Scorsese is born (aka Martin's mom). I just found this interesting. In the way that Martin Scorsese during the Last Waltz years fascinates me.



4/15/1924: Rand McNally publishes his first road atlas. Look how far they've come!

4/14/1925: John Singer Sargent dies. I'm reading this book, The Gardner Heist, and though I don't necessarily care for his work, he painted portraits of/was good friends with the museum's owner, Isabella Stewart Gardner. So shout-out to John!

4/16/1927: Joseph Ratzinger (aka Joey Ratz) (aka Pope Benedict XVI) is born. Let's be honest - he's no John Paul II, but still - a birthday shared with a Pope. Fun fact: John Paul II died on my sister's birthday (4/2).

4/15/1933: Elizabeth Montgomery (Samantha from Bewitched) is born. I love her!

4/15/1947: Jackie Robinson debuts for the Brooklyn Dodgers. Did anyone see the new Mets stadium, CitiField, last night? The Mets designed the new entrance of the field to look like the old Dodger field rotunda and have named it in honor of Robinson. From what I saw, I think CitiField looks better than the new Yankee Stadium.

4/15/1952: Heloise is born. I used to read her column in the N & O. Maybe it's even still there?

4/14/1956: Videotape is first demonstrated in Chicago.

4/16/1963: MLK Jr. pens his Letter from Birmingham Jail.

4/16/1965: Martin Lawrence is born. I share my birthday with true greatness.

4/15/1967: Dara Torres is born. She was the closest Olympian I could find.

4/14/1999: A severe hailstorm in Australia becomes their most costly natural disaster (over 1.4 billion US dollars). I can't believe this wasn't given more coverage. Or maybe it was and I wasn't listening.

4/14/2000: Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich files a lawsuit against Napster. Lars just cares about protecting the music people!

Easter Bunny

I hope the Easter bunny was good to everyone. Maybe some families got new dogs? This year my basket was filled with some old favorites and some surprising new finds.

The oldies:

Cadbury Mini-Eggs: These things are my #1 pick and they never disappoint me. The melt in your mouth shell! The fact that I can eat 20 and not be sick of them! These are a real gift.

Cadbury Creme-Filled Eggs: An Easter staple, but unlike the mini-eggs, I can only eat 1 on Easter and then I'm set for the rest of the year.

The newbies:

M&M Premium Mocha & Raspberry Almond Flavors: Oh Mars. I read that to fight the recession M&M's wanted to come up with a way to make people feel like they were still able to afford luxury in their candy ...ta da! M&M Premiums were born. Cheap stunt you think? Yes. The Mocha was by far the better flavor. The Raspberry Almond tasted like cheap raspberry with an almond thrown in the middle. I'll take Peanut M&M's over that any day. The premiums definitely deliver a more satisfying flavor bite than the originals. Just make sure you like the flavor. Here's the other thing - the premiums looked like they've been dipped in gold/pink (depending on the flavor). They feel heavier, but it seems like that's just a result of the extensive outer coating. Very weird. I don't know if I'd buy them on my own.

Cadbury Mini-Eggs Royal Dark: Maybe these aren't "new", but I've never had them or seen them out before. What a delight! They have the same light candy shell as the originals just in a deeper hue, and the dark chocolate makes you feel like you're doing something for your health. Brilliant!

I also received some jelly beans, but isn't Easter about the chocolate?

Do me a favor and...

stop kidding yourself with the use of "grassroots"! You, an embattled conservative who's basically one of the only ones left standing up for our rights, our constitutional rights not to pay taxes, are launching a "grassroots" campaign for a "tea party" this week. This week, when most Americans' income tax returns are due, you heroic rebels are instead going to send tea bags to your representatives in congress. Really shaking things up!

What other "grassroots" movements have you been involved in? A quick search of townhall.com brought up several examples with big-winning names like Rush Limbaugh and Ron Paul. Impressive! Here is what one of you had to say about the "revolutionary" tax week "tea parties":

What brought Reaction Time to my attention relative to the GOP? Tea Parties. This is a grassroots movement in its infancy. It started via traditional media, has grown through social media, and like all infant grassroots movements, has a tiny chance of growth and survival coupled with an enormous potential for success and impact, should it, in fact, survive and grow. In order for any movement to grow, though, it needs fuel. An opportunity has been placed in the lap of the GOP. A big opportunity, in my view, especially in light of the abysmal history the party has with grassroots movements of any kind. What's the reaction to this potentially fortuitous shift in the market? I haven't really seen one yet. And as I said, inaction is, in fact, reaction.

The irritating thing about this is that you're kidding yourself about the use of "grassroots," throwing it around like you're back in '62, registering voters in Mississippi. That was real grassroots organizing, and it was ok to use words like that because it worked toward giving everyone in this country a fair shake. But protesting against taxes? Especially when you're getting your information from Michael Savage and Glenn Beck?

Let me, lil' ol' me, tell you something about taxes: they pay for roads, public schools (a pillar of democracy, don't forget!), police, firefighters, public transport (and don't give me the old but-the-government-can't-tell-me-how-to-get-to-work-I'll-drive-my-Ford Expedition-if-I-want routine; we all know the jig is up), every single part of the military, and the court system. Next time somebody doesn't bash your door in and drag you into the street to dole out justice, thank your tax dollars. Next time you get laid off and need an unemployment check to cover your bills, thank your tax dollars. Next time your kid learns to read and gets a free ride to school and a discounted lunch if you need it, thank your tax dollars. I could go on all day like this.

I don't make very much money, and I didn't have enough in my withholdings this year so I ended up owing for taxes. And you know what? I don't really mind! Even though I feel like I pay disproportionately much, given my small income, it's ok because I realize that taxes are necessary to make things work. Is it any accident that two of the highest-taxed nations in the world, France and Denmark, also enjoy some of the lowest crime, infant mortality, and illiteracy rates? Is it any accident that the quality of life in those countries is so crazily high? What makes us freak out in America when we confront the spectre of a "nanny state"? Why wouldn't we want clean air and reliable public transport and health care? Who do we think we are, saying health care isn't a human right? Do we really love smoking in public and high-fructose corn syrup so much that it's worth spazzing about a potential ban? If you know something I don't, please let me know. And try not to mention 1984 when you explain it to me.

More movies

The list is almost done.

#3) Avatar: $286 million

It will be a good year for Sam Worthington. Don't know him? You will. He'll take up Arnold's mantle as the next Terminator earlier in the year. He'll star in this movie as well--as a ten-foot-tall blue alien/human. "Sounds lame," you say. Ah but consider this: it’s a James Cameron movie, his first time directing a feature since Titanic. "I liked that movie." It’s in 3D. "I like 3D." It stars Sigourney Weaver. "I like her." It involves a war and aliens in the future on another planet. "This sounds a lot like Aliens. That movie starred Sigourney Weaver, involved war and aliens in the future on another planet, and James Cameron directed it. I liked that movie." 

Yeah, you're gonna like it. And you're gonna see it. But no one knows what it will look like. Much of the technology is brand new, invented partially by Cameron. The director worked with academics to create a developed alien language and musical culture. In short, Avatar could be the most awesome and innovative movie ever made. The Citizen Kane of the 21st century. That being said, I have no idea how well this movie will perform. It's hard to predict new stuff like this. It will open in December, which will help. I Am Legend helped pave the way for epic films to have an audience during the holidays. I hope it will be awesome. If it is, and regardless of the rating, I think it will do this well.

#2) Harry Potter 6: $317 million

I just gave away that I’ve never read the books. If I had I would love them and would be damn sure to type the title in full. Send me your hate mail. No HP has topped the first’s $318 million. The previous two earned about $290 million each. Buzz from HP 5 and the fact that it’s almost over should push it past the rest, save the original. Normally a summer release, such as this one, drops this series down the rankings. But this year there are no huge animated or superhero sequels (like Shrek or Spiderman) to push it down.

Figured out the winner yet? Guess it right and I'll give you a shout out.

This is for REAL!/Kanye

MTV's True Life aired today while I was at the gym. Don't forget that last part. Anyway, the show followed two couples who decided to elope and not tell anyone in their family. One couple met each other three weeks before getting engaged. Yikes. Now, they claimed they would not tell their families about the nuptials because they wanted to save money. At least that was their primary reason. But they also wanted to avoid hearing everyone tell them it was a bad idea. No kidding.

Two months prior the woman had broken up with her boyfriend of three years. Whoa! I guess he got tired of caring for her five-year-old daughter. What!? Not his kid? And the guy was recently divorced. OMG! Actual near quote from the dude (I was working out so I couldn't write it down): "I've never done anything crazy in my life. So this is good for me." A keg party is crazy. That doesn't make it something you should do for the rest of your life. A reason the woman gave to a marriage counselor for their plans: "We have really good conversations." Yeah, so do my neighbor and I. At least MTV made sure to show the pastor saying, "God wants you to have a good sex life."

Also, I'm watching Kanye West on VH1 Storytellers. These are some things he said. Again, I was only kind of listening so I didn't get the exact words, just the paraphrase: "My greatest pain is that I can never see me perform. You will have a pleasure I can never have." Also: "I am a vessel for God. He wants me to say more and more and more." Then: "OJ (Simpson): Amazing." Not sure about his reasoning there. At least he got this right: "We have a black and white president."

Shame

I'm feeling it. Today is a weird day to be at work because half the office is already on vacation and it's 70 and sunny and we have a 3-day weekend. So instead of working--well, I sort of am working in that I'm taking all my calls, still--I am doing facebook quizzes. Why have I ignored them until now? Easy: all facebook "apps" are just embarrassingly trashy and belong more on myspace. YETTTTT here I am.

This is what I've learned about myself so far today:

I am a semicolon. ("What punctuation mark are you?")

I should live in Nebraska. ("What state should u live in?")

My parents should have named me Annie. ("What should your parents have named you?")

I am best at everything! ("what are you born to do? this quiz shows what you were born to do")

I was correct to have chosen an English major. ("what COLLEGE MAJOR should you have?")

I am a smart man/woman. I am brilliant, I should be president. ("Are you a bleeding heart liberal!?")

I am 11-20 years old. ("What is your true age?")

Truly enlightening! I'm glad I sorted these things out. These results look like the character notes to a new Doogie Howser-type show where a precocious Nebraskan teenager named Annie goes to college and gets elected to the presidency at age 18. btw, if anyone wants to pick this up, I'll sell you the rights.

Classic Movie Shoutout

Check out 1945's The Picture of Dorian Gray. It's a deliciously creepy telling of Oscar Wilde's most famous story. The titular picture is to the left. It looks haunting, doesn't it? Hurd Hatfield plays Gray with seemingly terrific precision. He brushes off alluded misdeeds as if batting flies.

The film won an Oscar for its cinematography. Normally you won't notice such things, but it plays an important role in setting the mood. Those who have read the book know it is a polemic against Victorian Britain, and the film holds true to Wilde's message. George Sanders plays the amoral and influential Lord Henry, a personality he portrayed well in All About Eve. 

But it's Hatfield who deserves most of the credit. As Gray's friends start dropping like flies he seems to care not a bit for them. He first betrays the love of Sibyl Vane. played by the young but rosy-cheeked Angela Lansbury. She received an Oscar nomination for her role, which was originally promised to Donna Reed, who also appears in the film as Gray's love interest. Gray treats them with the same disposition as everyone else. He seems almost robotic in his disinterest, as if all the world is an experiment: his own. And never do his deeds affect his appearance; only the picture changes. 

It's easy in this day and age to dismiss black-and-white films as "boring." Don't let that happen to you. This is one of the English language's greatest stories, retold superbly on film. Check it out!

Quotable

"I'll be a soccer mom. Like Posh Spice. I'll be there in my heels cheering on my kids. 'Go, team, go!' But I'll have no idea what's going on." — Miley Cyrus, on where she'll be in 10 years.

Weetzie Bat! Michael's birthday!

It should be no secret by now that I get a lot of "ideas" (aka steal stuff) from missbehave. They've topped themselves again and made a style guide that, for the letter W, has "Weetzie Bat." I couldn't be happier if they'd used "Winnie Titchener"!* Weetzie Bat shaped a lot of my lil' 14-year-old worldview and made me feel like I lived in a prettier place. Somehow it caught on at UNCW with Michael and Michael's crew, and I think he's the only boy I've known who has also appreciated what Weetzie Bat means to the world.

SPEAKING OF MICHAEL PEARCE...he's turning 25 today! Happy birthday ol' Michael!



Here he is, fighting me for a piece of pastry back in 2005. Michael is another friend from way back. He's going to be a big-time filmmaker pretty soon, so you heard it here first: Michael Pearce rules.

*what the H. another Winnie Titchener in this world? and her father was Bill Titchener????? is somebody out there pranking me?

Sunday

So no one carries a wallet any more?

G

I miss Gatorade X-Factor Lemon-Lime + Strawberry. I searched for it this weekend and didn't see it. Today I realize that's just because Gatorade has renamed it. The marketing geniuses have re-branded it "Be Tough". What the heck? As if "G" wasn't bad enough?? I loved saying "Please pass the X-Factor", now I've got to readjust to "Please pass the Be Tough?". Lame.

This is an interesting topic coming on the day of the NCAA championship. I noticed they've dropped "G" and instead VitaminWater is the beverage of NCAA choice. Is there a reason for the switch other than money?? It's a little disconcerting to see the VitaminWater jugs on the court - I'm scared Kelly Clarkson or 50 Cent are going to pop out and start pimpin' it.

2009 Movies 5 & 4

Keepin' those predictions coming.

#5) Up: $224 million

Pixar movies are money in the bank. Overall they have averaged $236 million. Pixar peaked with 2003’s Finding Nemo. Their grosses decreased since then, until last year’s WALL-E earned $220 million. It did so because of its excellent quality and its ability to tell a story with almost no dialogue. And it was about robots. Up is about people, but it apparently has similar stretches of little dialogue and even black-and-white scenes. The industry seems pessimistic about Up as a commercial success, but I am not. Disinterested kids means interested adults. Could parents actually drag their kids to this movie?

#4) Terminator: Salvation: $234 million

Action sequels have a phenomenal track record at the box office. In 2003 four of the top 10 films were of the ilk. That included the previous Terminator installment. Number four in the franchise figures to be an improvement on the $150-million grosser. It has Batman in Christian Bale, it has machine-looking machines, it is an all-out war movie, and it has the scene that gave everyone a good chuckle because one of the crew blew it again and again for the enraged star. That buzz alone should earn it $10 million. I might totally bomb this one because it could be rated R. That would cost it some dough, perhaps $30 million.

Go Heels!

WDDD (Winnie Does Drugstore Diaries)

Meet my new favorite shampoo: Lush Squeaky Green Solid Shampoo. This shouldn't have turned out well: I was in the Lush store, where everything smelled so good but was so expensive that I lost my mind and was thinking hard about an impulse buy of $20 shower gel. Then I saw the shampoo bars, the first cheapest thing I saw, and bought two. Really, I lucked out with this one. Purchases made this way don't usually turn out well so I was pretty worried about this "solid shampoo" thing.

My hair is really fine and tends to go limp by the end of the day, so I rely heavily on volume-promoting shampoo and conditioner. AND I've been trying to shampoo less cuz I've been reading things to the effect that daily shampooing is unnatural, strips your hair, wastes money, takes time, etc. So a shampoo bar looked like a good fix.

WELL. This made my hair really shiny and fluffy (fluffy is a good thing where my hair is concerned) all day, smelled good, lathered well, and was fun to use. I can't wait to try number two! Lush solid shampoo gets an 8.9/10.0

Movies 6-8

A special Friday treat: three predictions.

#8) Twilight 2: $182 million

Again, this movie has some long drawn-out title, but I couldn’t give two shits about it so I don’t care to look it up nor type it. Last year Twilight earned $191 million in a November release. I think it will go down. Children’s stories do very well at the box office, and sequels do even better. Except when the predecessor sucks, like Twilight, the sequel’s money dwindles a bit. The first Harry Potter remains the highest-grossing of the series. People anticipated it greatly, but its lackluster quality damaged the following films.

#7) Where The Wild Things Are: $203 million

Your favorite book as a child will become a live-action movie this November. No, that is not the tagline, but it might as well be. Need they say more? Moviegoers love kids’ books. Just look at how well Twilight, Harry Potter, Shrek, and the Grinch movie did. They all finished in the top 10. Spike Jonze will direct, as he did for Being John Malkovich and Adaptation. Those movies are weird and slightly disturbing, just like the above book. You know this movie will be weird. I mean, the director can’t even spell his name correctly.

#6) Wolverine: $208 million

This is the all-intents-and-purposes title. Hugh Jackman plays the title role in his origin, just like Christian Bale did in the aforementioned Batman Begins. You know how well that fared. Although this movie will probably be worse than the Bale vehicle, the final X-Men grossed $245 million. That momentum plus the introduction of beloved mutants like Sabertooth and Gambit should bring the two reboots on par.

Do me a favor and...

stop saying "do tell."

e.g.: "[friend on facebook] is SO proud of her husband, he rocks!!!"

First of all, I hate this kind of vague-n-personal status update. It's lame, and at least this friend did not make a negative one, e.g. "...is really disappointed and can never trust a man again," or "...is going to the hospital :( " or "...can't stop crying." But what all of these statuses have in common is that they're fishing for comments and likes.

What pisses me off even more than the statuses themselves are these people's friends who actually fall for it! Do they not have telephones or private email accounts to share personal news? Is a facebook status really the only way they have to communicate with the world?? The responses to the "SO proud of her husband, he rocks!!!" status were as follows:

"Why? Do tel....." [sic]
"for what? Just in general? : )"

I get that this example isn't that bad, because there's nothing wrong with broadcasting an encouraging shout-out to your spouse's achievements. I know there are worse things. Believe me! But "do tell," especially when the writer doesn't care enough not to check for typos, is as bad as "what say you?" or any number of formal-sounding small-talk terms like it where the speaker almost never actually cares how you respond.

Movie Predictions

These are two of my favorite things: lists and blockbuster movies. It comes as no surprise to me that I like lists of blockbuster movies, especially highest-grossing blockbusters. I love seeing what movie’s made how much money last weekend, the one before, and the weekend of July 21, 1983. Instead of looking into the past, I will peer into the future. I do this not for me, but for YOU, Dear Reader, so you can brag to your friends that when your favorite movie earns exactly what I say that you “called that.” Please, leave a little dap for me.

Check back the next few days for the full predictions.

Should any of the following movies not appear on the list, look for replacements from these movies, in release order: Monsters vs. Aliens, Angels and Demons, Ice Age 3, Bruno, Funny People. No disrespect to Paul Blart: Mall Cop, but despite its large gross thus far, it won’t make the cut. On second thought, disrespect to Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

Now the list:

#10) Night at the Smithsonian: $170 million

That isn’t the title, but who cares? You know what I mean. I won’t see it, but millions of children will drag their parents to it. Ben Stiller as the straight man usually blows. But John Q. Driveway seems to enjoy him like that. How else would Meet the Fockers earn $279 million and finish fourth in 2004? Night at the Museum earned $250 million and decent reviews. The sequel should surpass it, but it won’t. I think it could flame out like Prince Caspian did a year ago making the same move to summer. The release of Up the next week might hurt it. If I had kids I could make a better guess. 

#9) Star Trek: $177 million

J.J. Abrams went behind the lens for this reboot. Films of this genre usually do well. Batman Begins and Superman Returns both earned more than $200 million. Abrams’ Cloverfield performed very well with a January release. Generally the sci-fi genre performs a little less than superheroes on-screen, especially veterans like the DC duo. The film has an early May release, giving it a jump on the summer competition.

Good Stuff

Came home to watch last night's American Idol.  Then watched Tony Kornheiser's predictions on PTI.  He's right, it is Go Time.  As in, Megan Joy has got to go.  She totally blew it all last night and I hope America will wise up and stop voting based on looks.  After her I think Anoop and Matt Giraud might be in trouble.  But I hope not for Matt's sake.  He's my fave! (this was the best quality video I could find - sorry about that!)

And I found a classic clip I used to make Lauren watch over and over again.  This clip is great on many levels.  For one - Bon Jovi week??  I think we all know what a classic songbook that is (yikes!).  Jon's Philly Soul tee is classic and his total hatred for Blake's version:  "This is a song that a lot of people don't want messed with".  What people is he talking about?  This is before the advent of Kara DioGuardi as a judge.  It was a good time.  

I've been painting and I'd like to share it with ya'll.

April Fools

Who looks like they're having the most fun?

A good post

April Fools! This isn't a good post at all. 

But if I could be serious for a moment, a word about this day. In the April 1, 1985 issue of Sports Illustrated appeared perhaps the most famous April Fool's Day prank ever. George Plimpton wrote a piece about Sidd Finch. The article is long, yet entertaining. None of it is true. The readers responded so well that it soon became one of their most famous stories ever published. Read a little about the aftermath here. That second website has a good ranking of all-time April Fool's hoaxes. The news media often play a large role in duping and misinforming the public on April 1. 

Just like any other day. Burn!

LOL, "Smokers' Rights"

Is this another April Fools joke? [Smokers feeling abused as federal tax hike hits]

Seriously? Smokers should feel abused, so abused that they quit smoking or just put up or shut up. You don't want to pay an extra $0.62 per pack so that some kids can have health insurance? Fuck you! Here's what one aggrieved, victimized smoker had to say:

"I think it's ridiculous. ... They're picking on smokers," Egger said at the Denver store, where she bought two cartons Tuesday. "I think they're trying to run the tobacco companies out of business."

"As old as I am, I'm not going to quit smoking, regardless of what they do."

Hmm...sounds like a personal problem to me! And what's wrong with running tobacco companies out of business? Hasn't the industry had plenty of time to shape up and find new crops for all that land? Hasn't anybody seen what's happening in the world and opted for more corn or grain instead of tobacco? Don't give me that guff about NC needing the tobacco industry, either. Soybean crops are doing just fine in Eastern NC, and guess what? Soy is healthy and profitable! Tobacco is unhealthy and decreasingly profitable!

Any time somebody talks about smokers' rights I want to throw a chair across the room. Smokers' rights are not civil rights because no other minority group, besides maybe religious ones, chooses to be the thing that makes them a minority. Sorry suckers--I mean smokers!

Gmail April Fools

I'm LOLing at gmail's April Fools joke this year: Gmail Autopilot. More LOLs than last year's, anyway!