Celebrity Look-Alike

These fellas are famous for staying in the public eye, despite the public eye's efforts to turn away. They look similar, and you have to feel sorry for them for that, but which one deserves more pity?

Nic Cage, your role as Chad Kroeger is calling!

Nickelback, get a song on the Drive Angry soundtrack!

It's all in the hair baby!

All Celebrity Look-Alike posts are the product of yours truly.

My Christmas Mix

This year it's been hard to get into the Christmas spirit. Usually I'm listening to Christmas music 24/7 at this point. The holiday music stations this year are more annoying than festive. I think this is because they never vary their Christmas songs. If I have to hear David Bowie & Bing Crosby sing "The Little Drummer Boy" again I'll scream. Get a clue Mix 101.5! Below are the songs they should be playing to death:



Dolly Parton AND Kenny Rogers??? What's not to love about this winning combination? Who knew taking off boots could be so hilarious?



I guess Kenny Loggins' "Celebrate Me Home" could be disputed as a Christmas song but I've heard it in the past during this time of year. Really uplifting! Sorry it's just a powerpoint family clipshow (???), but it was either this version or the 9 minute Live jam. Even I find that to be too much Kenny.




Mannheim Steamroller's Christmas In the Aire album is our Christmas tree decorating soundtrack. This opening number really gets you ready for the holidays. Be prepared - this video contains a lot of awesomeness.




Phil Spector may be a total nut job - but I can't help but love his Christmas music esp this Darlene Love number.

My family always watches White Christmas. One year my sister and I recreated all the musical numbers. That was more difficult than it sounds! It's hard for me to pick my favorite musical number from the film - they're all brilliant. Sisters is a classic, but I also have a soft spot for this number. Danny Kaye really steals the film with his matching pants & shoe wardrobe. "What is this the best 2 out of 3?"

It's just been too long since a post, so let's get the ball rolling again! Here I am, studying for my last final, and there's nothing to distract me? Come on.

Uhhh, what's on your mind?

- what are your favorite baked goods for Christmas?
- was the 2nd season of Eastbound & Down a little emotionally heavy or what?
- what was the best album of 2010?
- what are you doing to stay warm during the cold snap?
- read any good books lately?

Celebrity Look-Alike

Two giants of the entertainment industry whom you never think about. One of them is John Walsh, host of America's Most Wanted, the longest-running show in FOX history and helpful in capturing more than 1,000 fugitives.

The other man is Ken Follett, author of four NYT number one best-selling novels. His novels have sold more than 100,000,000 copies worldwide. Can you tell me which is which?




OK. It was obvious.

RIP: Leslie Nielsen

Leslie Nielsen died Sunday, aged 84. He starred in many great films, none greater than Airplane!, a top-5 all-time comedy and the No. 1 movie using an exclamation point in the title.

Repossessed:

Naked Gun 33 & 1/3: The Final Insult:

Sci-fi classic Forbidden Planet:

Airplane!:

Surely you'll be missed, Shirley.

The Muppets take "Manhattan"

Kermit and Piggy doing Woody and Diane from Manhattan.




It's making me excited for next year's Muppet Movie.

"What's the Big Deal?" Body Scan Edition

There appears to be no news so the media will cover our national freak out about airport body scanners. What's the big deal??? Maybe I'm just being naive or have been brainwashed by the culture of "who cares", but I don't get it. So they might see a naked image of you. Isn't it funny that this would be people's main concern when it seems like "sexting" is prevalent in our culture. I mean - sexting is such a thing that it requires a word in our culture now! I imagine some iphones are of a higher quality than the body scanners. Not to turn all Andy Rooney on you, BUT if privacy is honestly making people uneasy about body scanners how many of these people have facebook accounts?

To all these people making a big deal about the body scanners I want to know if they've ever flown before. It's no walk in the park! I would much rather trade a full body scan for taking my shoes off. I don't know if this is a new option, but I can only hope it is. The idea of being barefoot on the same floor as all of my fellow travelers makes me feel like there is not enough soap and Purell in the world to make me clean.

National Opt Out Day (NOOD) of the body scanners is probably the worst idea ever. Hey fellow travelers - why don't we all pitch a fit on the worst flying day of the year?? It's not like airport workers won't already be overly stressed! Let's creatively protest the groping and be total jerks! Sounds like a brilliant plan! What could go wrong! It's not like we have anywhere to be. One of the options they give to protest the new scanners is to "just not fly". I would love to see someone explain that to their grandmother - "I've got to take a stand against these body scanners so I'll be avoiding the holidays this year". Actually this is probably some people's dream excuse.

On a serious note I do feel like it never hurts to be safe. If these body scanners actually do end up preventing explosives/weapons of any kind from boarding planes then I do not mind them. I would like to think that everyone would agree to a body scan over a flight that could potentially end in death any day.

Wacky Pet Wednesday

Jason Schwartzman

Wish I liked him but I don't! Is there something I'm missing about this guy? I've been watching Bored to Death and it's not great. Watching it is like watching an Encyclopedia Brown "mystery" come to life. Except with adults. Zach Galifianakis & Ted Danson are funny - but even they can't save the show. Jason Schwartzman is playing the same twerpy character that annoyed me so much in Rushmore. People seem to really like that movie but I couldn't finish it. Jason's character was like a less funny Clifford.

He was recently on Fresh Air. You should really listen take a listen. I think we all know that he is cousins with Sofia Coppola and Nicholas Cage. I didn't know that his mom is Francis Ford Coppola's sister, Talia Shire. She was best known for her roles as Connie in the Godfather movies and Adrian in the Rocky movies. Terry Gross tries to pull something - anything! - from him to talk about growing up in the Coppola family. Jason Schwartzman completely dismisses it. I can understand that he wants to be judged on his own merits, but seriously! He got his first audition with Wes Anderson from a family friend. I feel like he can't deny that it helped to be part of a successful Hollywood family. I guess I would like to see him embrace them more because I don't believe he is that talented to begin with. At least if he embraced and thanked them I could understand why he is famous.

Other things to listen for in the interview - Wes Anderson and Jason Schwartzman bonded over their love of an album called Pinkerton from a band called Weezer. CrAzY. He also co-wrote the song for Bored to Death. The song and his describing of "his process" for writing it pretty much sealed the deal that I am not a fan.

Wretched Popstar Countdown #2

Also receiving votes: Far East Movement-I liked this song when I first heard it. Then loved it. Now it's mildly annoying. "Far East Movement" could be a cryptoquote for "One Hit Wonder." Notice to top 5: Look out below.

5) Katy Perry
Her tits are on fire? HER TITS ARE ON FIRE!

4) Ke$ha
I wanted to pick someone new, but it can't be done. I like this video though. It's a 22nd-century Rocky Horror Laser Show.

3) Kid Rock
Purposely poor singing or alcohol-induced vocal destruction?

2) Gwyneth Paltrow
Great actress, lesser singer. She has potential to elevate her game and drop off the list.

1) Black Eyed Peas
They reached a new low, even for a group digging for the bottom.

Who do you admire? Clamz edition.

Philip Guston: the year he died! his shirt, his face, and his hands looks like his paintings!

Dan Bejar: so gypsy chic! but I sing British blues music!

Joan Mitchell: I can fit in with all of those masculine drunks! and I love my dogz!

Fall Readz

Can't wait to get my hands on these!

~~FaLL DeCoRaTiNg TiPs~~!

So many other blogs are posting about home decorating for fall, and you can probably see the "fall decorating" we've done here at JoP (thanks Susan?), so I felt called to share my own plans for fall decorating.

Number one is fragrance. Right now is prime time for pumpkin flavors and scents, but just between you and me, I can only handle so much pumpkin! Candles that smell like vanilla, cookies, any gingerbread product, or toffee all make me wanna barf. I only want my food to smell like food, you know? My go-to scents for cooler weather fall more into the spice-and-herb category. Right now I'm into patchouli, which is a really nice compliment to a citrus scent too. Evergreen is also nice; cedar and eucalyptus will never let you down. So.

HOT: citrus and spice

NOT: cookie scents


Number two: windows. Everybody's changing out their valence-shade colors and hanging garlands of faux leaves, but I'll be covering my windows with shrink-wrap plastic for insulation. My windows may not be "festive," but my energy bill will be beautiful!

HOT: saving energy!
NOT: buying the same curtains in a different color just because the seasons change

Number three: It's what everyone is talking about! CENTERPIECES. Also mantlepieces. A popular idea these days is to cover some fall items (pumpkins, faux or real; leaves; gourds; brown and orange things) in a cake dish and toss leaves around. Voila! But that looks like crap. Another one is to arrange some things in a bowl. Replace your stupid boring old everyday fruit bowl with a...gourd bowl! Toss some multicolored authentic corn husks in for fun.
Just kidding everybody! Unless you run a country club, I wouldn't worry about making new centerpieces for fall. Nobody will notice or care anyway!

HOT: no centerpiece/whatever you already have!
NOT: spending hundred$ on decorative pumpkins and special leaf garlands

Good luck out there, everybody. We all know the next big decorating challenge is right around the corner...stay tuned for Christmas!

The (hypothetical) SITUATION

Do you ever have a day where you have an early morning doctor appointment so you'll be late to work? But you're committed to bringing your lunch so you pack your salad, yogurt (greek!), grapes, and avocados (so they don't get mushy in the salad!) in 2 small coolers (because the "large" one is only slightly medium). Then you get to work and your lunch is cold, but you've forgotten the salad dressing????!!!!!!

What do I love most:

Lyon, France ((arguably) the best city)?
the French teens in the foreground, smiling at the camera like any normal thing?
the French teens in the background?
the idea that pushing over cars and setting fires will promote legislative change?

[photo via]

Dinnertime!

I just saw these over at Food in Real Life and couldn't believe my eyes. Look at the hilarious little wisps of photoshop steam! The disgusting marble of meat and cheese! The name Sideshots!

Would you eat these if they were free?
If they were $3.99?
If somebody gave you $3.99 and Sideshots on the house?

Sad Day

Solomon Burke died in an airplane on Sunday. Dirty Dancing would be nothing without his "Cry to Me". My life would be nothing without his music. Not even an exaggeration! RIP.

When he had a bit of a "comeback" with his album "Don't Give Up On Me", Sandy Cohen (aka Peter Gallagher) sang the song on the OC. I WISH I WAS JOKING. The OC will never leave my brain.

Now Courteney Cox & David Arquette are separating. Kind of sad about this one! Courteney and I have been tight ever since her Family Ties days. Granted- I even had my doubts about David- but I thought they would make it. WTH world???

Maybe Jennifer Aniston is rubbing off on her? J/K.

Song of the Fortnight

This one is golden for two weeks at least. If I'm late to this party, why didn't anyone tell me?

Tasty Tuesday

Mechanically Separated Poultry. YUM!!!

Fun Video of the Day

Wretched Pop Star Countdown

JOP does the lion's share of bringing people together and creating harmony.

Not in this space! This is the new feature: Wretched Pop Star Countdown.
(WPSC will appear whenever the standings need to change.)

#5) Men
Fellas, where are you? The hottest act running is still a child. Usher is waaaay past his prime. Rappers like B.o.B and M.n.M. qualify for the pop charts. Where are you, Justin Timberlake?

#4) Florence + The Machine
Ranking based solely on the fact that she's British.

#3) Fergie
She's not a recent offender, but her work ruining eardrums in the last decade earned her a spot on the inaugural list. Have a listen to her singing in Nine.

Are you back? OK, what have we learned? First, she sounds great. Second, she sounds awful everywhere else. Ipso facto, she sings poorly ON PURPOSE. Producers for her and the Black Eyed Peas want her to suck. What have we come to, when awful singers are the norm for pop music? We've come to the top 2.

#2) Ke$ha
On principle should be No. 1, for providing songs as wretched as they are catchy. Comes off as totally insane, and not in a cute way. Take it from Christopher Woods, student at the Ivy League school where Kesha W/ Dollar Sign will soon perform:

“She’s the most talented musician I know. As far as pop music is concerned, hers has a really good musical quality to it.”

What Ivy League school is he from? That's right, Dartmouth. Yikes.

#1) Katy Perry
Congrats Katy! You earned the top spot, and inspired this new JOP feature, for your pitiful performance on SNL. She danced like an average 7th-grader. She and the lead guitarist had the chemistry of 7th-graders. Does she really, actually sound like that? How does someone like that get a record deal? Oh, right.

Delicious and Nutritious

Everyone seems pumped about Pumpkin Spice Lattes, but what about the return of the best cereal ever? Where's the love for Count Chocula???

Obsession

Like a knee-jerk reaction, When I see a person I immediately comparing his or her face to a celebrity's. Maybe it's because people are constantly saying to me, "You look like ____." But true or not, telling people they look like famous faces wins you cool points. Unless that person is Clint Howard.

One of these men is Christian Slater. The other is Joseph Stalin. Can You tell me which is which?

Sporcle...

...is my new craze/obsession. Where else can you test your knowledge of presidents, states, and world capitals? Well, lots of places I guess. But Sporcle lets you test your knowledge of lesser-known Joss Whedon characters. Don't know him? I'd skip it.

Any bit of sports minutiae is covered, which bodes well for me. You can quiz your knowledge of the Opening Day lineups of 11 MLB franchises, or the top 50 male tennis players. Would people listed in these quizzes even get half correct?

I prefer the meta-lists: AFI's Top 100 films, AP Male Athletes of the Year, and Time's Most Important People of the 20th century. No one will score perfectly on these, but you can certainly do better than most if you have a good history knowledge base.

My favorite quiz? 100 Commonest English Words. I play it once per day and once answered 99. Now excuse me, I'm going for perfection.

What's the deal with:

1) "Toxins"? I can't find anything besides Wikipedia and 10000000+ advertisements to tell me what toxins are and how I can cleanse them from my body. So I eat only lemon juice and cayenne pepper for 21 days, and "toxins" are cleared from my "system." Does this mean I'll never get cancer? What are all the toxins currently living in my body up to: making cancer?

2) Genetically engineered salmon? This was all over the news yesterday and I have no idea why. Or again: what specifically will happen to you if you eat it? Looks fine to me, + if it can protect native species from overfishing, + if it can increase the world food supply, what's the problem?

I know these could be obvious things to most people, which is why I ask. I really want to know! Tell me what's up.

The Fall

This morning feels great. I feel like saying something really cheesy like "I can take on the world today!", but I won't. Everyone always is ready for fall - as every mom blog will tell you, but this year it seems like I am the most ready I've ever been. The weather this morning reminds me of Joe Fox from "You've Got Mail" writing about how fall in New York makes him want to send bouquets of sharpened pencils to Kathleen. What a great movie! I guess more than that, this time of year just makes me want to exercise more and take my multi-vitamins everday (it can be easy to forget!).

On another note - Happy 26th Birthday to JoP editor Kneeker! He hasn't written in awhile, but he's still alive & kickin'!

6 Pic Friday: The Forgotten Pic

Just kidding; it's not forgotten. I just saw this on noted Hi Fever and Gone Fashion' writer Breniecia's excellent twitter feed.

WHOA FOLKS!

@@------ CrUSh AlErT ----@@

Northern Exposure is rocking my world lately. What a great show! (Almost) Makes me want to move to Alaska! There are so many great things about this show - especially the fashion. Early '90's wilderness style never looked so good! Shelley's earrings are always a bright spot in any episode.

I'm watching Season 2 and so far Chris Stevens has pulled into the lead for hottest guy on the show. Chris is played by John Corbett who will later go on to become Carrie Bradshaw's hottest and best boyfriend ever on Sex & the City. What was she thinking cheating and breaking up with him??? On Northern Exposure, Chris is the DJ for the only radio station in town. Everybody loves "Chris in the Morning".

It's a morning show that's a mix of town announcements, book readings and overall life discussions. Apparently he even warrants a book. He is the town's only clergyman so he's your go to guy for all religious functions. Chris is a chill soul who has the hottest girlfriends in Cicely - and it's not hard to see why!

Also, he kind of bears a resemblance to David Foster Wallace at times.