Silly Bandz: The Silent Killer

Maybe from now on I'll just diss on other sites/news outlets' (is JOP a news outlet?) writing. Today's is an insane alarmist piece on (shocker) Fox News...about Silly Bandz!

“See these cute little bracelets? They’re called Silly Bandz, and I think they could potentially be harmful to children if they’re not careful...Dr. Manny was especially concerned for kids who wear numerous Silly Bandz for hours at a time, or even fall asleep at night with them on."

Hmm, food for thought. Speaking of food, I think the only way this could be any kind of problem (the issue is apparently that they could cut off your circulation temporarily)(shaking and crying over here, just thinking about it) is if your child is so morbidly obese that a rubber band is that tight on her/his wrists. Which...you got other problems, in that case.

The Worst Driver...in the World!

Today I met the world's worst driver as I drove on Raleigh's Lynn Road past Lynn Road Elementary School. Keep alert for a woman with short blond hair, in her 40s, barreling down roads in a black Jaguar.

I met her when she came up behind me in the left lane at about 9:05 in the morning. What's going on at 9:05 on a weekday morning beside an elementary school? You guessed it: school speed limits.

The posted speed limit on Lynn is 45mph, and during school times it's 35mph. My speed stayed between 40mph and 45mph, already beyond the limit. The woman in the black Jaguar pulls up behind me and flashes her lights at me. On a city road. In a school zone. Flashes her lights.

Of course she passes me at the first moment. The woman follows the same path on Lynn as me through several lights, allowing me to study this specimen of horrible driving. What do I see her doing at the stop lights and while driving? You guessed it: applying makeup. She's caking her face, in a moving vehicle. At 55mph. On a busy street. Driving alone.

Gross negligence should not go unpunished. Such people make me wish I drove a Batmobile, for my safety and to slam into their cars.

Hey Winnie

I have seen some ads for this show. I was thinking about going out there myself and f-ing things up. I haven't seen Spencer and Heidi running around. But I know they are very childish, and I do work with children, like these guys. So it's possible they've been by and I hadn't noticed. 

Here's what I do daily. I oversee kids reading for comprehension and call out math flash cards. I play basketball with them and constantly run around playing La Anda (tag). 

The kids come in voluntarily and do exercises in reading or math. They earn points for it, which they can redeem by buying toys, candy, or even playing on the Wii for a little bit. 

On Fridays we just play games and sports. They love soccer, like all other children around the world. I like playing Scrabble in Spanish, to boost my vocabulary. I beat a coworker last week, without cheating. I felt sad for the guy. Can you imagine losing a word game in English to someone who did not speak the language?