"I'm a percentage person."

Sometimes when I'm making plans with friends and I've got something else going on or my attendance depends on another person's absence (sorry! but you know how it goes. sometimes you just don't want to hang with some people), I'll say "I'm 85% sure I'm coming," or "I dunno, only feeling like 9% tonight." It's easier for me AND you, and sort of more fun as well. But I never really thought of relationships (romantic ones, friendships, and business relationships if that's part of your life) in those terms...until I was reading this advice column and the columnist broke down the question as a percent. Which I liked.

The question was "How important is sex for a relationship and what can you do if it stops?"

And his answer was as follows (partially; the full answer is on his site, linked above):

... let me further add that I’m a percentage person. I’ll put a percentage on anything. (Will I make out with her after dinner? 12%.) I’m especially fond of a really low percentage shot, like, was Angie flirting with me? 1.2%. This all gets me to the fact that I’ve thought about the sex question a lot. Which isn’t really a sex or no sex question, but more of a “mutually agreed upon amount needed” question. If two people both don’t like to get it on and find each other.. more power to them. So I’m going to stick with what I’ve got until someone proves me other wise: 50%. Yup, a straight 50. Why? It’s a bit like when a company buys a share of another company. And it is always 49 or 51 percent What the news heads like to call “the controlling share”. It’s only two percent away between the two but a world of difference in what it means to the dynamic on the whole. But at 50, neither works without the other right down the middle. of course there is always fluctuation, so I’ll give my sex math a +/- 4%. It’s also like a test. If you aced the “gets along” half but skipped the sex section (sextion? pow!) you would still fail, and vice versa. Never mind the fact that a relationship with unbalanced sex is just a friend who hangs around too much and stresses you out. No fun there. So yea. that’s my answer, it’s 50 percent of the test. To all those people who are thinking “but we get along so well, so I can look past it…” well, you can’t. Same goes for the “he’s a total loser but the sex is ammmaaaazing..” Anyway you score it, you still get an F for the class. It might hold together for a bit, but either disproportionate situation will eventually erode your personal chunk of love.

Wow. What a good, objective way to look at such a problem. I might take a cue for my own advice-giving! How would you think of your problems if you had to display them in graph form?

Gorgeous Footsteps in the Sand

JoP is turning 1 soon, and we thought some interviews with other "founder's" would be fun.

Today we have Katelin of Gorgeous Footsteps in the Sand. Katelin and I went to college together at Denison University (class of '06!!!). Her blog just was chosen as one of Blogger's blogs to read, so I thought she'd have some good blogging advice for our year-old blog. Congrats Katelin on the achievement!!

Why did you start your blog?

I read blogs all day for my job and my friends and I had started a group blog that went nowhere so I thought I'd try one for myself.

What goals did you have for it then?

I don't think I had any. I just wanted to write and see what would happen.

What goals do you have for it now?

I think just to keep having fun with it and not let other people determine what I want to write or how I write.

How did you come up with Hollywood Tuesdays as a segment?

I started posting so much Hollywoodness all over the place that I figured Tuesdays were a good day to put them into. You can look back in the archives and I was all over the place, eventually it started to come into a rhythm of posting which I love.

Is Violet Affleck your favorite Hollywood baby because her mom went to Denison??

Haha, yeah I think that's part of it. That and she is always so happy and seems so normal and the whole family is just so freakin cute.

Do you ever feel like you share to much or your fiancee doesn't like what you share online?
Umm no I think I do a pretty good job of keeping some things private and making sure to share the good stuff. And if he didn't want me to share it I think he'd tell me.

Do you track your site visits? Does it vary or do you have the same popular days week after week?

Guilty as charged. I stopped for a while, but I check Sitemeter and Google Analytics pretty regularly. And it pretty much stays the same, however lately with the blogger of note recognition my readership has sky rocketed and it's sort of awesome.

Are you surprised at what posts get the most visits?

Sometimes like I think I posted a post all about TV shows I watch and I got a ton of comments but then a week later I posted something else Hollywoodish and not a whole lot of responses.

You're in California, so I've always wondered how your posts are always up at 9am for that day. In a recent post you mentioned that you post the night before. Is that something you've always done and why?

I pretty much write my posts the day or night before now and have them scheduled to go up at 2am. I didn't always do this, but it makes it easier and I realized I have a lot of East Coast readers so I figured why not have it up for them to read in the morning.

What kind of involvement do you have with BlogHer and 20-something bloggers listed on your site?
Well I went to BlogHer last year for work and I got to meet a ton of bloggers I read personally and luckily I get to do it all over again this year and I cannot wait. As for the 20 Something Bloggers it's a group that a fellow blogger started to bring us 20 somethings together and man has it worked. I was member 200 something and now it's up to almost 6,000 I believe. I definitely recommend checking it out.

Do you think ads are a good way to up a blog's readership?

Umm I don't know that they've helped my readership increase but a nice check every once and a while is fun! :)

Did you design the blog yourself?

Yeah I designed it myself, maybe one day I'll get a spiffy design made my someone who actually knows how to do that stuff, I just messed around with it.

Is your blog just as much for friends and family now as it is for you?

Yeah I think a lot of friends and family that I may not see that often are reading it and seeing stories from my life and it's great like that. And it's good for me because I can always look back on what I've written and enjoy it all over again.

Do you want comments after every post?? (Or is that just me??)
I think deep down everyone wants a comment on their posts, but if I don't get any or get a lot I'm quite alright with that too.

Gorgeous footsteps in the sand... was just named a blog to read on Blogger. I'm still new to the scene, but how does a blog get chosen for this?

Not gonna lie, it feels awesome. I couldn't believe it. I have no idea how they chose those blogs but I feel pretty freakin special.

Do you have a favorite post?

I think my favorite most is my engagement story and the time I met Ryan Gosling (or any other celeb encounter I've blogged about). Both stories just make me so happy, granted the engagement one a little bit more so :)

What do you think makes for a good blog?

I think when someone is honest, somewhat witty or funny, and blogs somewhat regularly. Those are a couple things I love in a blog and I think it helps your readers get to know you.

You recently got engaged - have you considered having the ceremony at Swasey???????? Maybe with Dale T officiating??
Haha yeah I think I'll pass on that one. Definitely

having a So Cal wedding :)

Let's Talk...Movies

ABCFam had a Mother's Day Marathon of Mom Movies. This basically seemed to include every Julia Roberts pic and The Sound of Music. Julie Andrews - yes. Julia Roberts - I could take or leave her. She's like Tom Hanks to me - are we better with or without her?? I think they generally don't contribute a lot. BUT! Then I was reminded of how great Stepmom is. Stepmom and I have had a varied history - I would catch parts of it on college weekends, but I was never sure of the story timeline. In New York, my roommate had a copy of the DVD and I became hooked.


awesome!

-the setting: Ed Harris' NY penthouse is so cool. Even 11 years later. Well done set designers. Susan Sarandon's home is cute in it's country casual chic way as well. They've basically let me have both of my home fantasies in 1 movie. The scenes in Central Park are spectacular as well - who doesn't love the castle photo shoot??

-the little boy: This kid is cute.

-cheesy musical numbers: The classic Thanksgiving scene where Ben is the turkey and is "shot" for dinner. Kids + a holiday = movie gold. "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" also gets a lot of airtime - they sing it in the car with Julia and the big "dance" number with the kids and Susan in their house.

hilarious!

• -Julia's hair in this movie. Is it blonde? Is it brunette? Is it a bad dye job? Yes to all 3.

-Ed Harris. Sometimes I find his love story with Julia hard to believe, but then again this is called Stepmom. Emphasis on the mom.

-Susan toking up. Because we all know she does it in real life.

-"Don't touch me. You bring bad luck." -probably my favorite line in the movie.

-Julia getting a male "model" to make Anna's ex-bf jealous. This kid looks like he came from Home Improvement's 1989 set.

-Julia wanting to get her soon-to-be stepdaughter tickets to a Pearl Jam concert on a School Night! Susan says "Are you kidding?". Only to have Susan get the tickets and take her daughter anyway! Bam! Pearl Jam?? On a school night!#$! This movie is so hip! I love it.

Breed All About It

Dear JoP,

Our beloved dog died almost two years ago (minus a month and a half) and we're ready to get a new one. We're looking to get a western terrier. They are similar to the previous dog we had, a miniature schnauzer, although the hair will go from salt and pepper to just white. We're having trouble choosing a suitable name. We're going to get a girl, and we'd like her to have a persons name, not something like snickers. Should we name her Eileen after the girl who watched our kids as we were growing up? Thanks for your help.

-Cesar Milan

Dear Cesar,

First of all, I'm glad that you took some time to consider a new pup. This is not a decision to enter into lightly. It sounds like you've done your homework on what breed works best for you and your family. This is great news as it will make the transition easier for a new puppy if she can fit in with your family's lifestyle.

Names are hard. My family had a particularly hard time coming up with one for me. A solid two-syllable name will make it easy for the dog to recognize and train her. Eileen is a nice choice because you obviously have some sentimental attachment to the name. Personally I find it easiest to name a new pet after you have been interacting with her for awhile. Eileen might be good in theory, but your new dog might not be an "Eileen". I was about to be "Izzy", "Pickles", or "Rita" - how embarrassing! Brainstorming names is a good way to start, but to really get the dogs personality you might want to wait a bit to see if she has any defining character traits.

-Dora

In the hospital

Hey gang,

Sorry I haven't spit at you in awhile. I'm here with my buddy Stephen in the hospital. Stephen fell down some steps and ruptured a kidney, tore his liver a little bit, and tore his ACL and MCL. He's in bad shape, but he's getting better. Right now nurse Lindsey is changing his IV. He's been in the hospital almost a week now and had three surgeries. I'm keeping him company tonight so that his mom can get a good night of sleep. Sleeping on the floor of the hospital ain't nice on a lady in her 60's (? Sorry miss P. if I think you're older than you are.)

Anyway, I'm gonna be hanging around all night. Hopefully I can get some sleep, the doctors are coming in at 5:30 in the morning. I'll give ya'll an update if anything exciting happens tonight. Don't count on it.

-T

One more, real quick

Combing through the heap of questions in my inbox, I spotted this little one. I've got five minutes, have you?

Dear Jar of Paperclips,
my boyfriend and i are figthing about our musical tastes. i want to go to the taylor swift concert and he's threatening to break up with me over it. hElP!

ps here is a picture of my boyfriend when he was little. see how cute he is!!

The key here is going to be compromise. If he won't go with you, go with a friend. If he forbids you to go, break up with him AS SOON AS POSSIBLE cuz that means he's an abuser (not to mention a real jerk. no offense but it looks from the picture like that guy would grow up to be a jerk). And just don't talk about music with him until you're both ready to give each others' favorites a chance.

Time for some advice!

It's been a while, but we're still hacking away at the huge backlog of questions we've been receiving (keep 'em coming! we can always use more. gchat is the preferred medium). This week, we deal with some sensitive mother-daughter issues.

Dear Jar of Paperclips,

I am a reasonably attractive middle-aged woman, but i am nothing compared to my stunning seventeen year old daughter. Men turn to jello when she walks into the room.
While i am proud of her on the one hand, i am also insanley jealous of the affect she has on them. Am I a sick person for feeling this way?

from, horrified in Hartford

Your first responsibility, Horrified, is to be a good mom.
This means you shouldn't be jealous of your daughter's male attention, but protective of her during this vulnerable time. Make sure she knows what's what, sex-wise, and with a good dose of self-esteem to protect her in relationships as well. That said, you are not a sick person for feeling this way. Try a new hairstyle, or take some pottery classes. Honestly, it sounds like you're in a rut and that your daughter's just a symbol for your past youth and exuberance. Get out there, meet some new people, and have fun! After all, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree--your daughter had to have gotten her looks from somewhere!

Dope son, real dope

We should wonder how Michael Phelps won one gold medal, let alone eight in Beijing. That babe is Miss California USA. See below.

Miss Cali is back...

...to agitate you. Carrie Prejean, aka Miss USA runner-up, continues stoking the fires of the same-sex marriage debate. She recently joined the National Organization for Marriage to endorse a pro-opposite marriage campaign. "Marriage is good," Prejean said at the news conference discussing the endorsement. "There is something special about unions of husband and wife. Unless we bring men and women together, children will not have mothers and fathers."

Apparently Ms. Prejean wants people to start fucking, at the least. Regardless, she appeared in an ad for the group, and plans more. I hope someone else writes copy for their commercials. Not her, nor the person who named the group N.O. for Marriage.

Now it seems she might lose her runner-up position because she posed for semi-nude photos when she was 17 (not that one). Such an act is grounds for disqualification, based on the contract she signed to participate in the pageant. At this point, whether or not she loses her title of "Non-Winner" would have no bearing on her fame. Same thing if she loses the title of Miss California USA. 

Despite these (potential) setbacks, way to go Carrie! Keep up the good fight of promoting opposite marriage. America needs less gay dudes saying "I do," and more straight dudes abusing their wives, divorcing them, cheating on them, and belittling them. Marriage is pure!

Look out, here comes some sports

The NBA is considering shortening its season. Please do it! I need this. America needs this. We are addicted to sports.

The NBA season is already very long. It lasts 82 games, each 48 minutes. Most college teams play only 40% as many minutes during their seasons. Yet even that season feels too long. It amazes me that in our ADD world, our sports are getting longer. The NFL is in serious discussion to lengthen the season by two games. We already deal with endless, endless, draft coverage. 

We take note of fewer things for less time in life in general, yet we focus longer on more sports. That clearly means we are addicted. We can't send an entire nation to sports rehab, so the only other solution is for the sports to help us. Help us by shortening the seasons. Not just in the NBA, but everywhere. 

Because I'll relapse.