~~FaLL DeCoRaTiNg TiPs~~!

So many other blogs are posting about home decorating for fall, and you can probably see the "fall decorating" we've done here at JoP (thanks Susan?), so I felt called to share my own plans for fall decorating.

Number one is fragrance. Right now is prime time for pumpkin flavors and scents, but just between you and me, I can only handle so much pumpkin! Candles that smell like vanilla, cookies, any gingerbread product, or toffee all make me wanna barf. I only want my food to smell like food, you know? My go-to scents for cooler weather fall more into the spice-and-herb category. Right now I'm into patchouli, which is a really nice compliment to a citrus scent too. Evergreen is also nice; cedar and eucalyptus will never let you down. So.

HOT: citrus and spice

NOT: cookie scents


Number two: windows. Everybody's changing out their valence-shade colors and hanging garlands of faux leaves, but I'll be covering my windows with shrink-wrap plastic for insulation. My windows may not be "festive," but my energy bill will be beautiful!

HOT: saving energy!
NOT: buying the same curtains in a different color just because the seasons change

Number three: It's what everyone is talking about! CENTERPIECES. Also mantlepieces. A popular idea these days is to cover some fall items (pumpkins, faux or real; leaves; gourds; brown and orange things) in a cake dish and toss leaves around. Voila! But that looks like crap. Another one is to arrange some things in a bowl. Replace your stupid boring old everyday fruit bowl with a...gourd bowl! Toss some multicolored authentic corn husks in for fun.
Just kidding everybody! Unless you run a country club, I wouldn't worry about making new centerpieces for fall. Nobody will notice or care anyway!

HOT: no centerpiece/whatever you already have!
NOT: spending hundred$ on decorative pumpkins and special leaf garlands

Good luck out there, everybody. We all know the next big decorating challenge is right around the corner...stay tuned for Christmas!

Summer Reading Roundup: The Swimming Pool

Remember the huge stack of books I got at the publishing convention? This was one of them, and I just finished it.

I wanted to like it, mostly because I wanted a reason to finish it. The "mystery" was only not predictable by a technicality, and the characters were flat and WASPy, and dare I say idealized versions of the author? That's a stretch, but honestly: has Holly LeCraw ever met a person? The Swimming Pool makes me think: no.

Everyone is beautiful, everyone has a perfect body, a tanned body, an unbelievable body, a flawless body (actual phrases used to describe characters as they lie sexily on a beach, their sun-kissed skin shimmering blah blah blah). Everyone is rich, but don't worry--they're not too snobby or entitled. Also, their cottage on Cape Cod doesn't have a television! So real! The happiest characters have a healthy awareness of how easy their lives are, but sometimes they're even suicidal, via pills (!!) and another might be an alcoholic (??). Was the teenaged daughter sort of flighty? Was the adult son a handsome lawyer with shit on his mind? Was the dad a philanderer? Was the wife really good at tennis? What do you think?

Basically: I wasn't buying it. McCraw did not write real people. These characters are maybe idealized versions of herself and people she knew growing up, and I know because I used to write stories like that. It was hard to care about them, much less see them as anything other than caricatures. The adverbs and cliches weren't helping, either!

But there was some suspense, and I always want to know how things will end up no matter how crappily it's presented. At the end of the day, I still read this on the bus and I still finished it in just a few days...it was kind of a page-turner. So I place The Swimming Pool on this spectrum:

The Room -----> my short stories, 2003-2006 ----> The Swimming Pool ---> Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood ---> Gathering of the Juggalos infomercial

Yes, it is really like that. This book gets a C- !

Song of the Day

Via Italy.