~~FaLL DeCoRaTiNg TiPs~~!

So many other blogs are posting about home decorating for fall, and you can probably see the "fall decorating" we've done here at JoP (thanks Susan?), so I felt called to share my own plans for fall decorating.

Number one is fragrance. Right now is prime time for pumpkin flavors and scents, but just between you and me, I can only handle so much pumpkin! Candles that smell like vanilla, cookies, any gingerbread product, or toffee all make me wanna barf. I only want my food to smell like food, you know? My go-to scents for cooler weather fall more into the spice-and-herb category. Right now I'm into patchouli, which is a really nice compliment to a citrus scent too. Evergreen is also nice; cedar and eucalyptus will never let you down. So.

HOT: citrus and spice

NOT: cookie scents


Number two: windows. Everybody's changing out their valence-shade colors and hanging garlands of faux leaves, but I'll be covering my windows with shrink-wrap plastic for insulation. My windows may not be "festive," but my energy bill will be beautiful!

HOT: saving energy!
NOT: buying the same curtains in a different color just because the seasons change

Number three: It's what everyone is talking about! CENTERPIECES. Also mantlepieces. A popular idea these days is to cover some fall items (pumpkins, faux or real; leaves; gourds; brown and orange things) in a cake dish and toss leaves around. Voila! But that looks like crap. Another one is to arrange some things in a bowl. Replace your stupid boring old everyday fruit bowl with a...gourd bowl! Toss some multicolored authentic corn husks in for fun.
Just kidding everybody! Unless you run a country club, I wouldn't worry about making new centerpieces for fall. Nobody will notice or care anyway!

HOT: no centerpiece/whatever you already have!
NOT: spending hundred$ on decorative pumpkins and special leaf garlands

Good luck out there, everybody. We all know the next big decorating challenge is right around the corner...stay tuned for Christmas!

Summer Reading Roundup: The Swimming Pool

Remember the huge stack of books I got at the publishing convention? This was one of them, and I just finished it.

I wanted to like it, mostly because I wanted a reason to finish it. The "mystery" was only not predictable by a technicality, and the characters were flat and WASPy, and dare I say idealized versions of the author? That's a stretch, but honestly: has Holly LeCraw ever met a person? The Swimming Pool makes me think: no.

Everyone is beautiful, everyone has a perfect body, a tanned body, an unbelievable body, a flawless body (actual phrases used to describe characters as they lie sexily on a beach, their sun-kissed skin shimmering blah blah blah). Everyone is rich, but don't worry--they're not too snobby or entitled. Also, their cottage on Cape Cod doesn't have a television! So real! The happiest characters have a healthy awareness of how easy their lives are, but sometimes they're even suicidal, via pills (!!) and another might be an alcoholic (??). Was the teenaged daughter sort of flighty? Was the adult son a handsome lawyer with shit on his mind? Was the dad a philanderer? Was the wife really good at tennis? What do you think?

Basically: I wasn't buying it. McCraw did not write real people. These characters are maybe idealized versions of herself and people she knew growing up, and I know because I used to write stories like that. It was hard to care about them, much less see them as anything other than caricatures. The adverbs and cliches weren't helping, either!

But there was some suspense, and I always want to know how things will end up no matter how crappily it's presented. At the end of the day, I still read this on the bus and I still finished it in just a few days...it was kind of a page-turner. So I place The Swimming Pool on this spectrum:

The Room -----> my short stories, 2003-2006 ----> The Swimming Pool ---> Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood ---> Gathering of the Juggalos infomercial

Yes, it is really like that. This book gets a C- !

Liveblogging a Movie: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Beginning: lovelorn teens, blah blah blah. band names in doodle font, Band of Horses, Vampire Weekend, Merge Records, Dusty Springfield? buncha crap. I'm not buying it.

5:30: "Nicky's" friends offer to help him find someone better at their gig (Nicky is in a band).
5:35: and they're going to NYC to see a band called Where's Fluffy, "the rarest show on earth."

6:07: Music by Mark Mothersbaugh. auspicious!

6:36: Nick's ex-girlfriend is so clueless! she called the band Who's Fluffy. unbelievable.

8:58: jumping, screaming crowd at Nick's band's show.
8:59: is Norah noticing Nick?
10:09: "You're practically blowing him with your eyes"

19:25: "Come on--we're all ladies here" from Nick's gay friend/bandmate, who is giving Norah a makeover. earlier, Norah's friend was talking about 'mos. homophobic or a good message for kids, aka we can all relax around people who are gay?

24:00: "Are you straight edge like I am?"
"I don't really subscribe to any label"

37:41: lengthy gross-out scene involving: vomiting, reaching into vomity toilet bowl. so outlandish I watched the whole thing without flinching.

41:00: maybe this is the wine talking, but I'm finding it touching how teenagers try to act when they like somebody. remember when you were sort of into somebody and you didn't realize it was possible they could be into you, and you thought they were just so cool and magical? and maybe they felt the same way about you, but you both hid behind the shield of your "sense of humor" which was really crappy and cheezy? and, at the end of the day, that's the most embarrassing part?

59:39: I'd really like to turn this off and go to bed, but I feel like i'm too far in. (?) dammit.

1:07: ugh. i take back what i said at 41:00. this kid is annoying!! "I have a confession to make"

1:10: Norah has a really funny "I am a great driver" routine. seriously.

1:17: I wish I was 16 so I could be into this

1:21: Michael Cera seems like he'd be a chubby guy, but he's not. this always surprises me!

1:26: round-up of implausible loose ends!

Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Still glad it was free (via Netflix instant queue). Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist gets a 5.6 from me!

Jokefest 2009

'Joe the Plumber' expected at N.C. anti-tax rally

Images from My Week

Julius Shulman's most famous photograph. He was on NPR talking about his works and how his photographs of Los Angeles homes shaped our idea of the city. The guy is 98! Crazy!

A clipart that I sent out in an email that got a lot of responses.