Barnhart enters Gillespie's office, unannounced, sits down at his desk, and removes a tennis ball from his pocket. He tosses it repeatedly and says: "Billy, you're a good guy, but you gotta go."
Gillespie, who is writing diligently the whole time, is unaware that Barnhart has even entered the room. He does not look up: "Not right now Kevin (his assistant who sounds eerily like Gillespie's boss), I'm trying to recruit for next season."
Barnhart: "That's just it Gillespie. (The coach looks up at the manner of address. He stops writing.) You're done. Get it? Canned. Tossed. Axed. Kaput. Fired." He tosses the ball.
Gillespie: "I don't understand sir. Do you not like my ties? Should I change my name to Adolph Rupp Jr.? Is my mansion too big?"
Barnhart is bored of the tennis ball. He returns it to his pocket and withdraws a half-dollar. He flips it along his knuckles: "No, not that."
Gillespie, rubbing his chin: "Did I not attend enough alumni meetings? Do my players have too many tattoos? Should I have asked Ashley Judd to attend road games?"
Barnhart: "None of those things, Billy-Boy. See the fact is, you just didn't win enough games. We here at Kentucky are accustomed to winning. We've won 284 national championships and produced every All-American ever. In fact, for our first 28 seasons of basketball, we played twenty-eight games a year and won all fifty-six of them. Your two seasons here just didn't cut it. That and I really disagree with your idea that mind and body, while having distinct ontological statuses, do not causally interfere with one another. You know, real philosophical differences."
Gillespie: "Oh. So I should have won more?"
Barnhart said nothing as he rose and left the office. Gillespie returned to filling out recruiting forms.
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