Tourney observations

Every year I look forward to the NCAA Tourney more than any other event (yes more than Christmas and my birthday). The first weekend is like both of those days plus two more days. During my sophomore year in college I scheduled my entire spring semester so I could skip the fewest number of classes to watch the first round games. This is legit.

This year I watched hoops until my eyes bled. The added screen size and definition of an HDTV maximize the ocular stimulation. Time Warner, in their lone positive influence on the cable TV scene, created four channels so I can cruise the up to four simultaneous games without submitting to the draconian CBS producers or the local market stakes. If UNC is blowing out a team by 35, I can catch the two-point game between Memphis and CS Northridge at any time. 

Here are some musings. Keep in mind, brain functions drop considerably during tourney weekend.

MSU v. USC: Spartans v. Trojans. Such epic battles require gross exaggeration. MSU won 2,400-2,399. The game lasted 72 hours and featured 50,000 players. Everyone in the arena participated. MSU flute player Joe Agamemnon nailed the game-winning three while USC coach Tim "King Priam" Floyd grappled with a Kraken and forgot to call timeout. 

USC cheerleaders are smokin' hot with their sweater tops.

I tuned to Utah-Arizona for a little bit. I saw a big guy sit on the bench with "Utah" on the back of his jersey. I said to my roommate, "There's a guy on Utah with last name Utah." He laughed. I said, "It would be funny if his first name was Provo or Salt Lake City." Then he said, "Or if his name was Chicago or Dallas or something." We agreed it was a funny last name. I turned to another game and later came back to the Utah game. When he came back downstairs I said, "So it turns out all the players have 'Utah' on the backs of the their jerseys." He laughed, but for a different reason that time.

When the Chattanooga Mocs play their games, do they warm up in the other team's jerseys? Do they stand around saying things like, "I'm Jeff Adrien; I'm Hasheem Thabeet?" Do they take exactly the same shots as their opponents each time?

The Dayton Flyers have nice nickname as a shout-out to their flight history. Other teams should have similar nicknames. I hope the Memphis FedExs face the Lousiville UPSs. The CEOs could bet their companies on the game's outcome.

Speaking of Louisville, they played Morehead St. in the first round. The on-screen score graphic said MORE/LOU. We could all use more Lou. "Hey, I a-make you a pizza!" I hope I offended some people with that one. This made me pine for favorite school abbreviation: Southern Illinois appearing as "So Ill" on screen.

Newspaper writers must salivate over the chance to write "Sooners Rather Than Later" if Oklahoma wins the championship on a last-second shot.

There could be an all-city Final Four. The aforementioned all-parcel delivery winner could play the blue collar Pitt-Syracuse winner for everything. Obama declares: "Winning fans will not get laid off!" Plus they would play in Detroit, the king of blue-collar towns. "Detroit residents, attend the game and you won't get laid off!"

This weekend we get twelve more games. Go Heels!