Movies in prison

As you know, there are few things I love more than a movie list. This time, I’m talking actors (and actresses, but I’m using the term for both). The premise: I’m in jail and only allowed to watch the movies of 5 different actors. Whom do I choose?

I wanted a list of talented and varied people. These are not lists of my 5 favorite or best actors, but 5 actors whose films could entertain me the longest.

First the women. Let’s go:

Most likely to make this list someday: Kate Winslet. She has several Oscar nods, a range of films, and a beautiful body. She’ll act for another 30 years.

#5: Marilyn Monroe

She is the most iconic actress who ever lived. I’ve seen just a couple of her films, but I think I could stand more (wink). She was the master of the innocent sex-bomb. Has anyone pulled that off before or since half as well? She’s not the greatest actress, but in everything she did she was hot. That’s enough to fuel my interest and erase my memories of my prison cellmate.

#4: Katherine Hepburn

She won four acting Oscars, more than any other woman or man. Her voice is as iconic as Marilyn’s body. People love her because she commands attention on screen. Whether she was paired with Spencer Tracy, Sidney Poitier, Jimmy Stewart or Humphrey Bogart, Hepburn held her own. Her career lasted so long; it means I’ll have plenty of films to plough through during those boring years after I’ve read everything in the library—twice.

#3: Julianne Moore

One of two working actresses on this list. She’s mostly there for her turn in The Big Lebowski. I’d watch it every day and not tire of it. She acts in comedies, thrillers and powerful dramas. I can choose funny or serious, depending on whether or not I won that cafeteria fight that day.

#2: Bette Davis

With more than 100 IMDb film credits I could spend months watching all her flicks the first time. With movies like All About Eve and Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? I could come back for more. Her personal life fascinates as well. When she learned her brother-in-law was a recovering alcoholic, she sent him dozens of liquor cases as a wedding gift. A personality that deranged is bound to seep through on screen. I would take tips from her about how to psychologically destroy the cell-block guards.

#1: Faye Dunaway

Eighty movies and counting. Faye looks like one of my grandmothers. An interesting side-note for the woman who starred in Chinatown and Network, two of the best-scripted films ever made. I love Network; it’s a comedy of the blackest kind. Her best movies are pure joys, enough to black out the nightmares of the prison shower.