The Elephant in the Room?

(This is how I felt about LOST last night)

And by "room" I mean "my brain," because as soon as I got home last night I couldn't shake the realization that LOST sorta sucks. At first it all seemed to make sense--the plot points were zany for sure, but they were tight and dovetailed neatly together. Now they're all over the map. Literally, the space-time continuum!

When I found out the writers are writing as they go, that was the nail in the coffin. And it explains everything that was supposed to be "mind-blowing" in last night's episode: they're just casting a wide net, hoping something will stick and give them a path to write their way out of this mess.

I can't stay interested in characters who are alive one minute and dead the next and then alive again, but in someone else's body from ancient times, and that "person" is actually the smoke monster, which did anyone else see those crappy special effects?

Please argue with me. I want to like Lost again! I better, because I'm too roped-in at this point to just walk away.

JOP editors, edit this as needed. Just sign in as jarofpaperclips and let me (Winnie) know if you need the password!

What to Watch & Listen To

Conan's Last Show! Tonight @ 11:35pm. Will Ferrell, Neil Young & Steve Carell are confirmed (Will & Neil via Conan, Steve via Twitter). Is it wrong to hold out hope that Bruce Springsteen will stop by to play with Max & Conan???


Charlotte Gainsbourg's new cd in collaboration with Beck, IRM. Beck and Charlotte have a duet, and this record seems to be influenced by Charlotte suffering a cerebral hemorrhage in 2007.

LOST. 11 MORE DAYS!!!!

Who's pumped for Lost The Final Season?? Kate doesn't look it, but I am!

Liveblogging a Movie: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Beginning: lovelorn teens, blah blah blah. band names in doodle font, Band of Horses, Vampire Weekend, Merge Records, Dusty Springfield? buncha crap. I'm not buying it.

5:30: "Nicky's" friends offer to help him find someone better at their gig (Nicky is in a band).
5:35: and they're going to NYC to see a band called Where's Fluffy, "the rarest show on earth."

6:07: Music by Mark Mothersbaugh. auspicious!

6:36: Nick's ex-girlfriend is so clueless! she called the band Who's Fluffy. unbelievable.

8:58: jumping, screaming crowd at Nick's band's show.
8:59: is Norah noticing Nick?
10:09: "You're practically blowing him with your eyes"

19:25: "Come on--we're all ladies here" from Nick's gay friend/bandmate, who is giving Norah a makeover. earlier, Norah's friend was talking about 'mos. homophobic or a good message for kids, aka we can all relax around people who are gay?

24:00: "Are you straight edge like I am?"
"I don't really subscribe to any label"

37:41: lengthy gross-out scene involving: vomiting, reaching into vomity toilet bowl. so outlandish I watched the whole thing without flinching.

41:00: maybe this is the wine talking, but I'm finding it touching how teenagers try to act when they like somebody. remember when you were sort of into somebody and you didn't realize it was possible they could be into you, and you thought they were just so cool and magical? and maybe they felt the same way about you, but you both hid behind the shield of your "sense of humor" which was really crappy and cheezy? and, at the end of the day, that's the most embarrassing part?

59:39: I'd really like to turn this off and go to bed, but I feel like i'm too far in. (?) dammit.

1:07: ugh. i take back what i said at 41:00. this kid is annoying!! "I have a confession to make"

1:10: Norah has a really funny "I am a great driver" routine. seriously.

1:17: I wish I was 16 so I could be into this

1:21: Michael Cera seems like he'd be a chubby guy, but he's not. this always surprises me!

1:26: round-up of implausible loose ends!

Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Still glad it was free (via Netflix instant queue). Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist gets a 5.6 from me!

Big News!

Speaking of "change," we "hope" you like the results of Jar of Paperclips' editorial board meeting last night:

We are pleased to announce that longtime friend and commenter Katie Z will be contributing to the blog from now on. She's got a lot of expertise in music, the arts, celebrity news, healthy living, and pretty much everything. We're excited to have her on board!

There is also a new email address where you can send all of your advice questions: jarofpaperclips@gmail.com. We've already got one, just minutes into the address' existence, so keep 'em coming!

Well.

If nobody else is going to, I'm stepping up to the plate. HERE IS A NEW POST!

I just spent a week in Brooklyn with Robert (and Jake, and Corey and Andy and Caine and some of their friends). It was a great time, I eventually relaxed--or did I?--about the trash and grime everywhere, and I got to sleep in as much as I wanted. We saw and did a lot of things, including walking on the Highline, eating cupcakes, and watching fireworks from somebody's roof.

The previous weekend (6/26-28), we went to a Deer Hunter wedding in rural Pennsylvania and I got to see my best friend from France. Did you know that it's illegal to buy beer by the six-pack in Pennsylvania? And that you have to go to a special beer store to buy it by the case? We also cruised by the battleground/graveyard in Gettysburg and it was pretty depressing. Everyone's offering ghost tours and charcoal drawings of Robert E. Lee (free if you spend $85 or more).

We walked around Philadelphia for an afternoon and saw most of the main stuff there.

If I get around to it, I'll put a picture or two up here.

A Massage Story

I messed up my neck pretty bad at yoga last night, slept fine, and heard a pop this morning in the shower. Pain was shooting down through my right arm and up my neck, and for a minute I thought I'd had a stroke. But no: I just messed up my neck pretty bad. So all day I've been dreading any right turns I have to make, etc., and the receptionist at my office suggested I go to a chiropractor. I thought a massage would probably do the trick AND feel a lot better--and I've been super stressed out lately--so I booked an appointment.

For an hour-long "Swedish" (??) massage with a man named Stuart. The receptionist at the spa said "Stuart is very good," like they were lovers or something. And I'm really nervous! Does Swedish massage involve a lot of chopping? I've heard horror stories about deep-tissue massage; I hope this is different!

Another thing: an hour is a really long time. Will I get bored? Will my mind wander back to all the stuff that was stressing me out in the first place?

I'm sure it'll be fine. Better than fine, even? Check back tomorrow for the report, or: A Massage Story: Part Two: The Aftermath!

Heirloom Tomatoes: WTF!

I go to Whole Foods all the time when I'm hungry, and it's so stupid because I always walk out with $200 worth of vegetables I have to work around the clock to eat before they go bad. But everything looks good and I'm helpless against the temptation of "the wild bunch" mushroom pack and $4.99/lb cherries.

So last night I walked out with a bag of heirloom tomatoes. The best description I found was on this person's flickr page: "A true heirloom tomato is a cultivar whose seeds had been nurtured, selected, and handed down from one family member to another for many generations. What allows it to maintain the heirloom name is that no genetically modified organism (GMO) can be used in its production. It conjures up an image of backyard plant grown from hard-sought seeds, of rare fruit bursting in summer's heat."

I got home and sliced one up, and I was totally unprepared for what was inside. The exterior of this plant was green fading into red, and the interior was pretty much the same except it was black. Black, as in rotten? But the black flesh wasn't crumbly or mushy like rotting fruit is; it was as firm and clean as the rest of the tomato. Humm, must just be the color, I thought, and ate a mouthful of black tomato. Wrong! It was very, very bitter. And weird. So my next thought was: is this normal?

Let me do some more investigative work and get back to you.

Hey Andy:

Does any of this sound familiar?

"Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are causing all sorts of trouble on the set of "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" and the thing hasn't even really started taping yet. According to Ryan Seacrest, of all people, the duo have been whining and bitching since they landed in Costa Rica and have even taken to talking trash about the other "celebrities" on the show. They're even threatening to walk out on the show! Now, we're sure that this is just a stunt to drum up publicity for the show, but whatever, maybe we'll get lucky and Lou Diamond Phillips will beat them senseless with coconuts and bamboo or something." [Gawker]

Since Costa Rica is so small! Let us know if you spot anything CraZy!

Getting ready for a month of fabulous birthdays!

Andy's birthday was yesterday, mine is April 23, and Susan's is April 16. Michael's is on April 6, and Will McRee's is somewhere in there too. We are all turning 25 this year. And as you know, we're having a big party at my house to celebrate on Saturday 4/18. If you're like me, you're probably wondering what the heck you can do to prepare! I'll tell you:

1) Be thinking of your outfit for the party. The My Girl theme isn't set in stone yet, so stay with us as we announce the real theme.

2) Consider these presents for us: Susan has previously expressed interest in Michael Jackson's belongings up for auction, and I keep returning to this book on Amazon. I also just found readingfrenzy.com, where just about everything looks good. Just a handful to get you started!*

I'll be more excited than ever to get my hands on some fresh books this year because I've been reading Infinite Jest for about a month and plan to finish it before the 23rd. Being free to read other things will be my biggest birthday present!

3) Start testing recipes for food to bring to the party. We'll have some out, but if you want anything crazy it's on you to bring!

4) Consider taking any money you win from your NCAA bracket to donate to a charity of our choice. We'll confirm which charity on the facebook invitation.

5) Pick out some of your favorite pictures of us for the big photo slideshow at the party!

6) Write a song with your band about us, and perform it at the party!

7) Make a piece of art and dedicate it to us!

8) Contact your florist ahead of time about the arrangements you want delivered on the day of the party. TRUST ME: Fallon's does not do well with last-minute orders!

Thanks in advance, everyone!

*Actually if you want to bring anything, something good/fun to drink will be great and a bonus. Obviously!

Tribute Post: Andy "McGregor" Wales turns 25!

Well, this was supposed to go up earlier, but here it is:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDY WALES!

Andy is new to the Jar of Paperclips team but he's an old friend to all of us in real life. I first met Andy at some point during 11th grade at Sanderson HS. My earliest memory of him is corroborated in the SHS yearbook and it involves an insane number of t-shirts worn all at once, making him look obese. Since then, I've really enjoyed knowing this guy. He even came to France and hung out for a couple weeks!

Susan and I thought we'd do a "favorite memories" thing and this is what we came up with: not many people were available for comment. But here's what fellow longtimer Jessica "J-dubs" Williams had to say:

me: yo jessica

we're writing a "tribute post" on the blog for andy

will you answer one question for it?

2:29 PM Jessica: sure

2:32 PM me: ok

Q: What is your favorite memory of Andy?

Jessica: hmmm

9 minutes

2:42 PM me: just anything

15 minutes

2:58 PM me: jdubs!

this is going on a blog like today

38 minutes

3:36 PM Jessica: sorry working too

ummm

i mean

they're all so fond

3:38 PM me: just one

So there you have it. I'll close with this great picture of a great guy...and Michael Pearce. (just kiddin' Michael!) (blingee to follow). And feel free to add your favorite memories of Andy in the comments!

2009

Drugstore Diaries: Liza's room edition

So I spent some time with my mom and sister last night. Well, first, know this:

My family are some of the worst regifters in the world. My mom would send me "care packages" at summer camp filled with the contents of whatever drawer she was cleaning out (half-empty packs of chewing gum, last year's troll dolls, old issues of Disney Adventures); I can count on getting at least one Harris-Teeter VIC gift every Christmas (this year it was a wok set) and so last night I was at my mom's house, hanging with my sister who's in town for spring break.

She had a basket full of gifts for her sorority little, and that basket included a makeup case from 5 birthdays ago, all the Christmas presents I'd given Liza this year, unopened; a bent-up copy of The Lovely Bones, a Barbie CD-ROM, and a partially-used container of Queen Helene's Cocoa Butter (to the right). Pathetic.

But I've always been a big fan of Queen Helene's line, from the cocoa butter creme to the mint julep mask, so I helped myself to a little cocoa butter. Within 30 seconds, my hands had been transformed from dry, uncomfortable winter mitts to smooth and youthfully glowing.

After I put away the cocoa butter (in my purse) (I doubt her little will miss it), I saw the tackiest-looking bottle of tanning lotion I've ever seen.

I have problems with tanning, and especially the redneck sorority culture that makes my sister look like an oompa loompa when she's going through a heavy tanning phase. So, to my complete shock and amazement, I saw on the bottom of this bottle (pictured at left) (yeah, seriously!!) that this costs $74.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smells nasty, looks nastier, and I wish I could read you the text on the back. It's like poetry. (Redneck poetry, lots of ellipses).

After that, there's not much to report on besides caked-up mascara and some old Freesia-scented soap in her bathroom. Awesome.

WINNIE AND SUSAN'S SPRING FLING BIRTHDAY PARTY

My birthday is April 23, and Susan's is April 16, and we're having a birthday/spring fling theme party at my house on April 18. Just so you can plan ahead!!

The biggest thing on my mind lately is what is the best theme for a spring fling party? I know that i want to wear some fly press-on nails and maybe false eyelashes, but is "drag queens" even a party theme?

What are some good themes? Any ideas??????



For now, here's a song by Sufficient artist Snowman & Furball (and 1/2 of S& F is 1/3 of Chairlift, stars of the ipod nano commercial) that's been in my head lately. Think it over!

25

Someone in this picture is turning 25 tomorrow and people can't stop celebrating!

Ancelin, Josh, Morgan, and Jenny

This picture is from a moment in time that will never happen again. 2 of my friends from France came to visit Greensboro (!!!!!) and here we are in my old apartment on Rankin Place. I think this is from sometime in December 2006. Ancelin is playing guitar, Morgan is talking to him about it, Josh is in the kitchen, and Jenny is talking to someone just outside the frame. It's like a dream you have where people who are never together in real life are all hanging out and playing music, except this really happened.

Memorial Day 2000, or Camping: Part 3

I first saw this on VHS at Bruce St. with Rob and Heather (the tape belongs to Heather). The founder of Found magazine found it at a garage sale in Michigan. Seriously, these are real people! THAT'S THE CRAZY PART. A synopsis: some rednecks go on vacation in RVs with their 4-wheelers and drink a ton of beer and mess around with mud and nightvision goggles and stuff, and their accents are hilarious to the point where everything they say sounds like a joke.

It reminds me somewhat of The Barbeque, which I was told was a piece of evidence in some kind of trial (my dad's former law partner did mostly criminal defense...and wasn't too ethical sometimes w/r/t discovery aka evidence). The Barbeque is about a fight that breaks out during a church picnic and leaves pretty much everyone there stripped of their dignity--and their clothes, although it's not sexual at all. It's awful to watch. The first and only time I watched it was with Katie Z, Paddles, and maybe Corey and a few other people, and I want to apologize to all of them: sorry guys! Memorial Day 2000 is much more fun to watch.

Camping, Part 1

This is what my bedroom might as well be: a tent in the snow. I live in what is basically an unfinished attic (there's paint on the walls and stuff but it's only technically "finished") (actually, not technically at all, since they forgot the insulation) and we're having a cold break here in NC. I know I'm being a baby about "cold weather" in North Carolina, but 21 degrees at night is pretty low when you don't have heat. So it feels like I am sleeping in one of these tents.



Last night I had on my body: wool socks, a wool cap, pants made of special fabric (I forget the name but it's a -Pro or -Prene tm), a long-sleeved shirt and sweatshirt, a sleeping bag, sheets, and 3 blankets. If I don't get into grad school and I stay in my house for next winter, I'm thinking about buying this:

and maybe this too:

Sunday Afternoon Note

I'm sitting here in Andrew Wales living room with a bunch of people. Roll Call (right to left): Will MgGee, Yours Truly, Andy Wales (rockin the wyatt earp mustache), Graham "B-Boy" Benson, John, Winnie (never seen her in my life), C-Mac, Virginia, and Katie Lang (not the singer.)

We're watching the Wake vs. Duke game and drinking Miller High Life 40's. I played some ultimate frisbee yesterday, it was pretty nice. Not a whole lot to report. Occasionally we're switching over to the Oscars. Which seem pretty generic this year.

Choose Your Own Adventure

Yesterday, as I was walking home I spied a black Jansport tossed into the bushes alongside a main road. The backpack was obviously stuffed to the brim with something. I stopped for a minute to consider my options. It felt like a gameshow. Behind door number one could be a slew of options: a bundle of interesting letters and photos I could voyeuristically enjoy, tons of pot, money I'd wrestle with taking home, a human head, a gun, a baby, a kitten, a pie, a basketball (I once got in trouble in elementary school for stuffing a basketball inside the backpack of a red-headed boy I despised...so I know these things happen).

My bet was on the grimmer of these choices. That's the problem with snooping like that--people don't usually throw back-packs filled with harmless objects out of windows. Perhaps as soon as I picked it up, a police duo would blindside me and arrest me for possession of THE WEED. Or maybe the human head would permanently alter my sanity. Or some hoodlums would begin to stake out in front of my house once they realized I had their stash of guns.

The polar route is that the backpack contained some case-concluding evidence that I could have turned in to the Durham police, perhaps catupalting my name out there is local hero territory, thus setting myself up for free meals at local restaurants, and a general glowing admiration in the wake all of my perambulating.

But instead of picking it up, I just left it there. Nice and cozy in its mystery and brush.