G

I miss Gatorade X-Factor Lemon-Lime + Strawberry. I searched for it this weekend and didn't see it. Today I realize that's just because Gatorade has renamed it. The marketing geniuses have re-branded it "Be Tough". What the heck? As if "G" wasn't bad enough?? I loved saying "Please pass the X-Factor", now I've got to readjust to "Please pass the Be Tough?". Lame.

This is an interesting topic coming on the day of the NCAA championship. I noticed they've dropped "G" and instead VitaminWater is the beverage of NCAA choice. Is there a reason for the switch other than money?? It's a little disconcerting to see the VitaminWater jugs on the court - I'm scared Kelly Clarkson or 50 Cent are going to pop out and start pimpin' it.

Getting ready for a month of fabulous birthdays!

Andy's birthday was yesterday, mine is April 23, and Susan's is April 16. Michael's is on April 6, and Will McRee's is somewhere in there too. We are all turning 25 this year. And as you know, we're having a big party at my house to celebrate on Saturday 4/18. If you're like me, you're probably wondering what the heck you can do to prepare! I'll tell you:

1) Be thinking of your outfit for the party. The My Girl theme isn't set in stone yet, so stay with us as we announce the real theme.

2) Consider these presents for us: Susan has previously expressed interest in Michael Jackson's belongings up for auction, and I keep returning to this book on Amazon. I also just found readingfrenzy.com, where just about everything looks good. Just a handful to get you started!*

I'll be more excited than ever to get my hands on some fresh books this year because I've been reading Infinite Jest for about a month and plan to finish it before the 23rd. Being free to read other things will be my biggest birthday present!

3) Start testing recipes for food to bring to the party. We'll have some out, but if you want anything crazy it's on you to bring!

4) Consider taking any money you win from your NCAA bracket to donate to a charity of our choice. We'll confirm which charity on the facebook invitation.

5) Pick out some of your favorite pictures of us for the big photo slideshow at the party!

6) Write a song with your band about us, and perform it at the party!

7) Make a piece of art and dedicate it to us!

8) Contact your florist ahead of time about the arrangements you want delivered on the day of the party. TRUST ME: Fallon's does not do well with last-minute orders!

Thanks in advance, everyone!

*Actually if you want to bring anything, something good/fun to drink will be great and a bonus. Obviously!

Tourney observations

Every year I look forward to the NCAA Tourney more than any other event (yes more than Christmas and my birthday). The first weekend is like both of those days plus two more days. During my sophomore year in college I scheduled my entire spring semester so I could skip the fewest number of classes to watch the first round games. This is legit.

This year I watched hoops until my eyes bled. The added screen size and definition of an HDTV maximize the ocular stimulation. Time Warner, in their lone positive influence on the cable TV scene, created four channels so I can cruise the up to four simultaneous games without submitting to the draconian CBS producers or the local market stakes. If UNC is blowing out a team by 35, I can catch the two-point game between Memphis and CS Northridge at any time. 

Here are some musings. Keep in mind, brain functions drop considerably during tourney weekend.

MSU v. USC: Spartans v. Trojans. Such epic battles require gross exaggeration. MSU won 2,400-2,399. The game lasted 72 hours and featured 50,000 players. Everyone in the arena participated. MSU flute player Joe Agamemnon nailed the game-winning three while USC coach Tim "King Priam" Floyd grappled with a Kraken and forgot to call timeout. 

USC cheerleaders are smokin' hot with their sweater tops.

I tuned to Utah-Arizona for a little bit. I saw a big guy sit on the bench with "Utah" on the back of his jersey. I said to my roommate, "There's a guy on Utah with last name Utah." He laughed. I said, "It would be funny if his first name was Provo or Salt Lake City." Then he said, "Or if his name was Chicago or Dallas or something." We agreed it was a funny last name. I turned to another game and later came back to the Utah game. When he came back downstairs I said, "So it turns out all the players have 'Utah' on the backs of the their jerseys." He laughed, but for a different reason that time.

When the Chattanooga Mocs play their games, do they warm up in the other team's jerseys? Do they stand around saying things like, "I'm Jeff Adrien; I'm Hasheem Thabeet?" Do they take exactly the same shots as their opponents each time?

The Dayton Flyers have nice nickname as a shout-out to their flight history. Other teams should have similar nicknames. I hope the Memphis FedExs face the Lousiville UPSs. The CEOs could bet their companies on the game's outcome.

Speaking of Louisville, they played Morehead St. in the first round. The on-screen score graphic said MORE/LOU. We could all use more Lou. "Hey, I a-make you a pizza!" I hope I offended some people with that one. This made me pine for favorite school abbreviation: Southern Illinois appearing as "So Ill" on screen.

Newspaper writers must salivate over the chance to write "Sooners Rather Than Later" if Oklahoma wins the championship on a last-second shot.

There could be an all-city Final Four. The aforementioned all-parcel delivery winner could play the blue collar Pitt-Syracuse winner for everything. Obama declares: "Winning fans will not get laid off!" Plus they would play in Detroit, the king of blue-collar towns. "Detroit residents, attend the game and you won't get laid off!"

This weekend we get twelve more games. Go Heels!